An Open Adoption Success Story, By Any Other Name

IMG_0539Meet Rebekah, Tyrus’s mother. Not Rebekah, Tyrus’s other mother.

Confused?

Don’t be.

Rebekah is Tyrus’s birthmother.

He has another mother, also named Rebekah. She’s his adoptive mother.

Kinda cool, don’t you think?

Rebekah thinks so. She was raising four children when she placed Tyrus for adoption with the other Rebekah and her husband, Ben, just over four years ago. As she wrote at the time, “I don’t think that this means that I am a horrible person…but I think it means that I know my limits.” Continue reading

7 Ways To Conquer Your Fear That A Prospective Birthmother Won’t Choose You

The Evil FruitMaybe it was because Halloween was just around the corner. Or maybe it was because of something else.

But for whatever reason, Cassie was scared. She was worried that she and her husband wouldn’t get chosen by a prospective birthmother, putting an end to her lifelong dream of becoming a parent.

Never mind that she hadn’t even sent her adoption profile out yet.  The worst case scenarios were already piling up in her mind.

“What if the birthmother doesn’t find us?” Continue reading

The Secret To Getting Your Adoption Profile Noticed By A Potential Birthmother

getting-noticed-by-potential-birthmotherA hopeful adoptive parent recently asked me to help her and her husband get their adoption profile noticed by a potential birthmother. They had been “out there,” online, for four years but their profile wasn’t getting a lot of traction.

They wondered what were they doing wrong, and what else they could do, to set themselves apart and catch the attention of an expectant mother who was thinking about placing her baby for adoption.

It’s a question that every couple hoping to adopt struggles with, not only those with an online adoption profile. Continue reading

A Birthmother On Why Adoption Is “The Most Beautiful Pain You Could Ever Choose”

Crystal Rae dicrystaldn’t know what she was getting into when she placed her baby for adoption 12 years ago. And though her decision didn’t come easily, she recently told me that her experience has been better than she ever imagined.

I’ll let her tell you why, in her own words, in a moment. But first, some background information about her: Crystal Rae is a surgical assistant and TV Host in Cave Creek, Arizona. Continue reading

When Other Couples Are Finding An Online Adoption Match — And You’re Not

adoption-matchIs your adoption profile online?

Do you find yourself checking it a millions time a day?

Do you find yourself checking out other people’s profiles a million times a day?

When checking out other people’s profiles, do you find your heart sink every time you see the words “Matched” splashed across their photo?

Welcome to the club.

When I was adopting, checking out other couples wasn’t simply something I did to pass the time. It was an obsession. Continue reading

Does Giving Up My Baby For Adoption Make Me A Bad Person?

give-up-baby-for-adoptionIf you’re pregnant and thinking about adoption, chances are you’ve got some pretty big questions weighing on your mind right now.

  • Am I doing the right thing?
  • How do I know I’m not making a mistake?
  • Will I regret my decision later?

And probably

  • Does giving up my baby make me a bad person?

Giving up a baby for adoption is probably the hardest thing you’ll ever do. The fact you’re wresting with your decision not only speaks to the depth of what you’re considering, it also shows that you care about your baby and what’s best for her. Continue reading

How One Birthmother Found Joy In Open Adoption

open-adoption-birthmother“Cling to what is right and you will always find joy.”

That’s the message that Cami got from a friend after she placed her baby for adoption. And it’s the approach that has guided her life since then.

Thanks to her positive attitude and the support she has received from her family and her daughter’s adoptive parents, she says she has been forever changed for the better by the experience.

Five years ago, Cami was a typical high school student and member of the cheerleading team. Then an unplanned pregnancy forced her to make one of the most important decisions of her life — a decision that culminated on National Adoption Day when she strapped her newborn daughter, Lily, into a car seat, tucked a blanket around her, kissed her “a billion times” and said goodbye. Continue reading

Wanting To Adopt vs Waiting To Adopt: What Type Of Prospective Adoptive Parent Are You?

wanting-to-adopt-vs-waiting-to-adoptProspective adoptive parents come to open adoption from all walks of life with all kinds of life experiences and talents to share with a child.

And yet despite their differences, I’ve found that when it comes to reaching out to prospective birthparents and finding a match, they often fall into two distinct categories: those who want to adopt and those who wait to adopt.

Below are some of the traits I’ve noticed. Do you recognize yourself in either of these lists? In the comments section below, I’d love to hear your thoughts about what you think are the key differences between prospective adoptive parents who want to adopt and those who wait to adopt. Continue reading