My birthdaughter’s 10th birthday is coming in just a few weeks! As her parents and I have been on this journey with our daughter at the center, here is what I have learned in 10 years of being in an open adoption:
Communication is key
Just as it is with every relationship, communication is essential to a positive and successful open adoption. This is key from the first meeting and well into the years later! Both sides need to know about what they are or are not comfortable with openness wise. Both need to know the boundaries of either side.
Will there be letters and pictures twice a year? How often will we visit? What is it okay for your birthchild to call you? Is it okay to share pictures on Facebook? This can mean a lot of tough conversations, but it is so helpful to know where each other stands. Continue reading →
One topic we didn’t get to is the next stage in the open adoption process: What happens after you’ve found a match with a prospective birthmother? How do you keep things moving forward? What can you do to build a strong positive relationship in the period between connecting with an expectant mother and the birth or relinquishment of her baby? Continue reading →
In the 13 years that I’ve helped hopeful adoptive parents parents write and network their adoption profile, I’ve been asked all kinds of questions. But there’s one question that pops up again and again: What should I put in it?
As someone who once asked it myself, I understand where they’re coming from. For many waiting adoptive parents, adoption networking is a new concept, and writing a profile is one of the most important — and challenging — parts of it.
Knowing what to put in your profile, and what to leave out, will not only save you time and effort down the road. It will also increase your chances of getting chosen by prospective birthparents. Continue reading →
This guest post is by Courtney, a birthmother. Read Part One of her story here.
Placing my son, Benjamin, for adoption when he was four months old was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But I knew it was the right decision for him and for me.
I was already parenting my three-year-old son, Jack, and I knew that while I could give Benjamin what he wanted, I couldn’t give him what he deserved. So I chose a couple named Drea and Jason to be his adoptive parents.
Transitioning Benjamin to their home was a gradual process. At first, they took him every other night. The first night he was gone, I felt utterly empty. I wanted to call Drea and insist she bring my baby back, but I didn’t.
The day before the placement Drea and her sister took the boys and me to the zoo on my birthday and then she and Jason took me to dinner. It was by far the best birthday I’ve ever had, it meant so much to me. Continue reading →