As a new birthmother, they said, you’re going to have a hard time. Be prepared to feel sad and depressed.
And though you believed them, you had no idea it would be this hard.
While everyone around you is celebrating the best of the season, you just want to lock yourself in your room and not come out again until all of the tinsel and lights have been put away.
Seeing the faces of happy children makes you think of the one that isn’t with you.
It doesn’t matter how confident you were about your placement or how good your relationship is with your child or his adoptive parents.
This is the time when the pain of separation intensifies and the “would-haves, could-haves and should-haves” take root and make you question your adoption plan, your self-worth and even your sanity. Continue reading →
I made the change and sent them a message letting them know the work had been done. When I didn’t hear back from them, I sent them a second email to make sure they got the message.
“We did receive the link,” they wrote earlier this week. “However we will not need to renew. We were contacted by our agency that a birthmother chose us to be parents and the child was born yesterday and he will go home with us tomorrow. Thanks for all you’ve done!” Continue reading →
The holidays are a time to celebrate with family and friends. But while everyone else looks like they’re having a great time, we feel sad and frustrated because we don’t have a child to share them with. Plus, many people don’t understand what we’re going through, which makes it even harder to explain.
2. Getting together can makes us feel awkward.
Maybe it’s because we’re the eldest child and feel that we should have been the first to become a parent. Or maybe it’s because we’re the only child in the family who isn’t a parent. Or maybe it’s because a friend or family member is about to have a second baby while we don’t have any. Or maybe it’s because they never wanted children or weren’t trying to have one and now they’re pregnant. Whatever the reason, we feel like we’re the odd one out and that makes us feel uncomfortable. Continue reading →
What was your biggest fear about open adoption? What was the spark that initially helped you to create a connection with your child’s birthmother or adoptive parents?
How did you and your child’s birthmother or adoptive parents decide how much openness you wanted to have in your relationship? Do you believe an open adoption match is a stroke of luck, meant to be, or something else entirely?