How I Got Over My Fear Of My Daughter’s Birthmother And Became Her Friend

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This guest post is by Brandy Sacapanio, an adoptive mother and adoptee.

“There is a very good chance we will have to remove the right ovary.”

I walked outside the doctor’s office in disbelief and sat down on the edge of the sidewalk, too weak to stand. It had been a whirlwind of events.

I had gone from feeling “something” one day when I got dressed, to a doctor’s appointment, to the question: “Are you sure you’re not pregnant?”, to an ultrasound and diagnosis, to being told that I had a mass the size of a soccer ball.

I was still in shock. The size of a soccer ball? I would have given anything to know it was all one big misunderstanding and that I was actually pregnant.

Less than a month later, I was wheeled into surgery and later awoke to even worse news: Stage IV Endometriosis and a complete hysterectomy. I was 26 years old.

Continue reading

TV Anchor Explores Open Adoption By Turning Camera On Himself

As a TV anchor, Bob Gallaher has covered a lot of stories in his day.

But few of them are likely as close to his heart as this one.

In this segment for WEAU 13 News, the Wisconsin newsman has turned the camera on himself to share his own open adoption story.

The segment includes interviews not only with Bob and his wife, but also with their daughter’s birthmother and her parents.

As Bob explains, open adoption is a life-changing event for everyone involved and serves three purposes: “A child receives a home and the love of a family, birth parents have the assurance their baby will be cared for and the adoptive family is blessed with the joy of loving and parenting a child.” Continue reading

The Letter I Wrote To My Future Son After Meeting His Birthmother

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This guest post is by Daysha, an adoptive mother and blogger

My husband and I met our son’s birthmother, Sheila*, twice prior to his birth. The first time was during our initial meeting before she selected us. The second was just after she made her decision.

During that first meeting with Sheila and leading up to it, I was a ball of nerves.  “Will she like us? What if we say the wrong thing? What if she doesn’t approve of our parenting philosophy? What if, what if, what if….?”

What I didn’t consider was that Sheila would be just as nervous as we were.

We were the first to arrive to the restaurant. We were very early. We sat in the parking lot for a bit until we saw the social worker arrive and walk in.

Since Jane* was Sheila’s social worker, we had never met her before. But she gave a great self-description so we would be able to pick her out of the crowd. We waited another five minutes in the car and entered the restaurant.

We introduced ourselves to Jane and then we sat and waited, and waited, and waited.  Sheila was late. Continue reading

Adoption Themes in 2015’s Oscar-Nominated Films

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This guest blog is by Addison Cooper, founder of Adoption At the Movies

When I set out to review movies from an adoption perspective, I wondered if I’d ever run out of material. I don’t think that I will.

When I started writing on my site, Adoption at the Movies, I had a list of 100 already-released films that I wanted to review, along with reviewing any new films that had adoption connections.

Now, two and a half years later, I’ve found that adoption themes are so frequently present in today’s current, mainstream films that most of the films I watch and write about are current releases.

It’s Academy Award season, and the films that have been nominated for awards are a good sample of the films that have been released this year.

Let’s take a look at the adoption or adoption-relevant themes in some of this year’s nominees. Continue reading

If Only Every Adoption Profile Video Was This Entertaining

We’ve seen our share of adoption profile videos over the years. But we’ve never seen one quite like this one by hopeful parents Joe and Joey.

Entitled “Dear Future Baby,” it’s a hilarious send-up of Meghan Trainor’s “Dear Future Husband.”

As Joe and Joey explain in their video, they’ve always dreamed of becoming fathers.

And now, with the help of open adoption, they’re hoping to make their dream come true.

But when it came to reaching out to a prospective birthmother, they wanted to do something a little different.

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So they penned this love song to their future baby.

With lyrics like

We won’t let you cry
Always keep you dry
Even when your diapers make us want to freakin’ die

you’ll find yourself singing its praises too.

Enjoy!

Update: A few months after their video went viral, Joey and Joe’s adoption wish came true.

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Adopting As A Military Family: The Unique Challenges And Joys

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This guest post is by Jessica Oxendine, a hopeful adoptive parent.

Our family’s journey to adoption began through acceptance of infertility and recognizing that adoption can be just as miraculous as giving birth.

Having been diagnosed with secondary infertility (we already have a beautiful son), and after 9 years of battling with the unknowns, we were ready to accept the fact that a biological child was not going to be.

My husband came to this realization a lot sooner than I did.  I was struggling with other issues like feelings of inadequacy and denial.  I had placed my hopes in science for so long that it was hard to move on.

Amidst the pity party I had graciously thrown myself, my beautiful healthy son was the saving grace.  I accepted the fact that this is my reality.  No one ever promised me or owes me a child. Continue reading

“Why Did My Mom And Dad Give Me Up?” The Adoption Questions Of A Seventh-Grader

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Ever wonder what teenage adoptees think about adoption — and more specifically, about their own adoption?

This award-winning essay by seventh-grader Hallee Randall offers some fascinating insights.

In many respects, Hallee is a typical teenager. Like other girls her age, the Provo, Utah girl enjoys playing soccer, cheerleading, gymnastics, and dance.

But as her essay entitled “Living Life With Questions About Adoption” shows, she’s also dealing with some pretty big issues stemming from her closed adoption that most teenagers never have to think about.

One of them is why did her birthparents place her? Or as Hallee puts it, “Why did my mom and dad give me up?”

Initially, Hallee questions whether her birthparents loved her. But then she says that she’s sure they did and that it must have been “hard to give me up.” Continue reading

After Our Failed Adoption Match I Never Thought I Would Become A Mother

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This guest post is by Rebekah Tate, an adoptive mother.

It has taken me almost a year to gather the courage to write about our failed adoption match last March. That week was absolutely the best and worst in my life.

I knew that open adoption wouldn’t be easy. There are some things in life that you can’t prepare for and open adoption is certainly at the top of that list.

It’s funny how going into this journey my top concern was always could I love a child that didn’t come from me. But that ended up being the absolute last thing my husband, Justin, and I needed to worry about.

Our profile had gone live a few months earlier. I was very active on social media and advertised our profile on as many websites that I could find.  Within days we were getting contacted by women all over the country.

It was so scary. I put so much hope in each and every woman who contacted us.  I was honest with them and tried to convey to them how sincere we were.  I knew that most of these women were just as scared as we were, probably more so.

Within the next 3 or 4 months we were contacted by 20 or so women.  Some were obvious scams. Some changed their minds and told us. Some just never contacted us back. Continue reading

Watch What Happens When This Birthmother Gets A Surprise Visit From Her Daughter

Life is full of surprises.

And for this birthmother, no surprise was likely more memorable or emotional than her first face-to-face meeting with Dina, the daughter she placed for adoption 34 years earlier.

The surprise encounter was planned by Dina and the birthmother’s youngest daughter, who always had a deep interest in meeting Dina.

Despite many setbacks, Dina and her birthmother eventually connected through Facebook. And it turns out that Dina had been searching for her too.

When she was five, her adoptive father died. And when her adoptive mother died years later, Dina’s search for her birthmother took on a new urgency.

Dina and her birthmother — who made her adoption plan when she was 16 — touched base by phone and built up a relationship.

And that eventually lead to this moment, their first face-to-face meeting, an event that I’m sure neither of them will ever forget.

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