Our niece drew a picture of us recently. In it, I have a great big smile on my face while Jen, my wife, has blue tears falling from her eyes.
Our niece, who is adopted, explained her drawing like this:Aunt Noemi is happy because she knows your baby is coming soon!Aunt Jen is sad because you don’t have a baby yet.
Who knew a five-year-old child would be able to so perfectly capture the mixed emotions of the adoption wait?
We embarked on this path towards parenthood almost five years ago, but even before that, we knew we wanted to be parents.Continue reading →
This guest post is by Nicole, a hopeful adoptive mother and blogger.
It’s been three years since we first started down the path of open adoption and I’ve learned so much along the way. Here are 10 key lessons that I want to share with you.
1. The wait is harder than expected
When we went into our workshops we heard about the wait. We thought, “it can’t be any different or worse than all the waiting we’ve done already.”
WRONG. This is a different kind of waiting, one that I don’t think anyone going into an open adoption journey envisions. Some people are lucky to match quickly while others take much longer. We hope that ours will come soon but who can say when it will happen.
2. Getting contacted by an expectant mother is exciting (even if the lead doesn’t pan out)
There’s an adrenaline rush that comes with every call, email, or text. You think, “this could be it. This could be the lead we’ve been waiting for.” But most of the leads don’t pan out. And unfortunately, a lot of them turn out to be wrong numbers and scammers. Which brings me to my next point…
3. Watch out for the scammers!
We were warned about scammers, but it’s just awful when you hear from them. Even though you may have dealt with them before, you’ve got to go through the whole process all over again just in case they may be the real deal. Continue reading →
Never in my life did I think I would become a blogger, much less keep a blog that people wanted more of on a regular basis.
A blog that would end up being shared all over social media by strangers and adoption sites was beyond what I had ever expected of myself.
It all started in a tiny blank teal book. On a whim, I sat down and wrote to our future baby.
I wrote about how loved our baby already is, even though we have no idea when we will meet him or her.
I described nursery plans, toys, and onesies we had already bought, and how much my heart yearned for this baby’s existence.
I wrote about how much open adoption means to us and made promises to always work hard at keeping the commitment to our adoption plan. Continue reading →
A few weeks ago, my husband Jeff and our sons Houston, 13, and Scotty, 4, spent an afternoon visiting Scotty’s birth family.
The small group—Houston; my husband, Jeff; Scotty’s birth mother Kerri; his birth grandmother Lynn, and his birth great-grandparents Larry and Gail — circled my child with love, pride, and adoration.
Constantly mimicking his big brother, Scotty showed off his perfected free throw warm-up routine and his well-practiced golf swing.
We applauded to his delight. Then, to the crowd, my innocent four-year-old announced, “I’m gonna play tee ball in the springtime!” Continue reading →
My daughter, Hope, and I have been together for more than a year now.
Our finalization anniversary is coming up. I don’t know how we’ll celebrate yet, but I’m sure we will.
This last year has been peppered with huge shifts for both of us. Becoming a mom to a teenager is…well, awesome and hard.
I wanted to adopt an older child for numerous reasons, not the least of which was because I didn’t mind skipping diapers and daycare.
While I was ready for parenthood (as ready as one can be), I did find myself resenting so much change in my life.
I rifle through the insensitive comments that compliment me on adopting while simultaneously inferring that Hope is not my “real” daughter.
Being a black, single woman has also brought about the narrative that maybe I adopted because I just ‘gave up” on marrying and having biological children. Continue reading →
