What’s The Difference Between Open and Closed Adoption?

This guest post is by Karie Boyd, an adoption attorney.

What’s the difference between open and closed adoption?

If you’re hoping to adopt or thinking about placing your baby for adoption, you may be asking yourself that question and wondering which route is right for you and your child.

There are many misconceptions about adoption, and about open and closed adoption in particular.

Adopting a baby or placing a baby for adoption is a complicated and deeply personal decision. Each one has its advantages and disadvantages.

At the end of the day, it comes down to a number of factors, including your own individual wants and needs and, ultimately, the best interests of the child.

To help you make your decision,  here is some general information about open and closed adoption — how the two routes differ, and the pros and cons of each one. Continue reading

To The Expectant Mother Who Chose Me To Adopt Her Baby, After Her Miscarriage

This guest post is by Nicole, a hopeful adoptive parent.

Dearest K,

We’ve spent the last six weeks getting to know each other. Even though you were early in your pregnancy I never doubted your commitment for this open adoption.

I loved our conversations and the pictures we exchanged in anticipation for what was next.

The long and short conversations we’d have every day, I’ll miss those.

I could feel the excitement even through email as our trip to meet and match was getting closer. You are bright, beautiful, and one of the sweetest people I’ve had the privilege to “meet.”

Today, everything would change. I’ve been dreading that phone call. Continue reading

3 Things I Learned After Being With My Daughter’s Birthmother On Delivery Day

birthmother-delivery-day

This guest post is by Leah Campbell, an adoptive mother and writer.

On the day my daughter was born I sat in the hospital lobby, waiting for news that she had entered the world.

During her pregnancy her birthmother and I had talked about how this day would go and I respected the fact that she did not want me, or anyone else, in the room with her during labor.

I had always believed that decision was solely hers to make, and I never questioned her when she outlined for me how she wanted to handle the day.

After our daughter was born, she said she wanted a few moments to look at her, but did not want to hold her, and then she wanted our little girl to be brought quickly to me.

So I waited, clueless about what was happening in the delivery room, until a nurse came out and said, “She’s changed her mind. She’s asking if you would come in to see your daughter being born.” Continue reading

An Adoptive Father’s Letter To His Son’s Birthfather

adoptive-father-letter-birthfather

This guest post is by Noah, an adoptive father.

How do we thank you?

You helped bring into this world this precious boy. You decided to be a part of his life when so many others would have disappeared.

You were not tied to his birthmother. The two of you had long before gone your separate ways.

You lived in three states away and yet you were there at the beginning and you continue to be there today.

When we first met you, I saw a young creative idealist. A young man full of life, passion, and intellectual curiosity.

I saw a little bit of myself when I was younger and I enjoyed seeing that energy again.

I honestly had no idea what to expect. Continue reading

Reflections On The Baby I Placed For Adoption

reflections-on-baby-placed-for-adoption

This guest post is by L.B. Johnson, an adoptee, birthmother and author.

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

I’m not sure where the phrase came from, but in looking at our children, those we love, it stands to reason.

When we hold them for the first time, we move with such caution, speaking in hushed tones, recognizing something within us that had always slumbered, sightly alive, just waiting to be born.

I didn’t meet the baby I gave up for adoption as a teen until she was in college herself.

I was in college when I got pregnant.

With my Mom dying of cancer and the sibling I was adopted with in the Navy,  I was easy prey for someone who could speak all the words of love and commitment without knowing their meaning. Continue reading

4 Things We Learned Through Our Failed Adoption Match

failed-adoption-match

This guest post is by Brandon and Scott, hopeful adoptive parents.

The stage was set. We had recently purchased a new home at the top of a hill, tucked away in a cozy cul de sac.

After a contact with an expectant mother who was considering adoption fell through (actually, it felt like it evaporated) we licked our wounds, and put ourselves out there again.

Seemingly overnight, we were contacted again. Could she be the one?

Facetime turned into long emails. Long emails turned into long dinners (we even closed down a few restaurants), and before we knew it we were accompanying her to doctor’s appointments, listening to the baby’s heartbeat, and posting ultrasound pictures on our refrigerator.

Winter came, and with that, we were choosing his name, starting our baby registries, and had even picked out the baby announcement card.

And just like that, the delicate thread that was holding this story together began to unravel. Continue reading

Adoption Gave Me My Nest, My Wings, and Set Me Free

adoption-set-me-free

This guest post is by Heidi Sprouse, an adoptee and author.

I was adopted 44 years ago. I don’t know if open adoption even existed then, but my adopted parents—my real parents, the only parents I’ve ever known—were very open about my adoption.

I knew from a young age. They made sure I understood and spoke freely about my adoption, that they were unable to have a child of their own and my biological mother gave them the most incredible gift—me.

I had a special birthday for the day that they brought me home, grew up in a nurturing home where I was allowed to explore the world around me, and knew nothing but love.

In my mind, being adopted has been nothing but a positive experience. While I do not know my birth parents, I have always held them with only love in my heart. Continue reading