How Placing My Baby For Adoption Made Me A Birthmother Advocate

This guest post is by Megan, a birthmother.

Many of our decisions in life have a fairly immediate outcome that is either good or bad. Sometimes these decisions only affect us, but sometimes it might affect someone else.

Sixteen years ago I was faced with one of the biggest decisions of my life. Coincidentally, it would be a decision with monumental impact on the life of another as well.

I had just turned eighteen when I discovered I was pregnant. The acknowledgement of that fact in my own mind was absolutely terrifying.

I went immediately into denial, where I buried myself away with careful precision. The fear and sadness of my situation consumed me.

I had no idea how I was going to survive this experience, let alone trust my own judgement on what to do with this growing baby when I hadn’t been able to trust myself to keep things in control within the relationship I’d had with my boyfriend.

I had let myself down, and in my mind, after succumbing to the physical desires in the heat of the moment, I’d felt that I had let him down. Continue reading

10 Things Only Birthmothers Know

This guest post is by Amanda Miah, a birthmother and author.

When I discovered I was pregnant I knew adoption was the right choice and I was prepared to make that decision.

However I never anticipated the emotional journey that would follow.

The following list is meant to give insight into the range of feelings and emotions birthmothers experience long after the adoption takes place. Continue reading

A Letter To Myself Before I Became An Adoptive Mom

This guest post is by Angela Boucher, an adoptive mother.

Dear Angela,

As you wait to adopt, there are so many things to say.

The most important thing I will say is never, ever give up your unflinching hope to one day become a mother.  

Hold onto your dreams of being a mother.  Believe that your dream is worth working for and that nobody nor anything will stop you from achieving it.  

Dreams can come true. The harder you work for them the sweeter they are in the end.

I understand how hard the journey to adopt can be.  The waiting can seem to last forever.

My advice to you is to do your best to live within the moment.  Try to find joy in each day.   Continue reading

Confessions Of An Adoption Advice Writer

This is Adoption Awareness Month, and if you’re waiting to adopt or have already adopted, chances are you’re aware of Rachel Garlinghouse.

If you don’t know her, you’re in for a treat.

Rachel is the author of five books, including Come Rain or Come Shine: A White Parent’s Guide to Adopting and Parenting Black Children. Her work has appeared on MSNBC, NPR, Huffington Post, Babble, Scary Mommy, and right here (and here, here and here). 

The mother of three children whom she adopted domestically and transracially, her blog, White Sugar Brown Sugar, and other writings focus on adoption, race, and parenting.  

Earlier today I had a chance to ask Rachel about being an adoption advice writer and about what tips she has for waiting parents and adoptive families. Continue reading