5 Reasons A New Adoptive Mom Goes MIA

This guest post is by Rachel Garlinghouse, an adoptive parent and author.

adoption-advice-writer

1.  She’s cocooning.

Children who were adopted, whether at birth or an older age, need time and space to bond with their new parents.  Likewise, the parents need to bond with the child. 

Though everyone is banging on the proverbial door to greet the new child, the family needs time just to beSometimes this is out of absolute necessity:  a child who is withdrawing from drugs, a child who has faced neglect or abuse, a child who has special needs.  

And sometimes it’s out of desire:  the need to begin feeling like a real family and to strengthen the ties between family members.  Continue reading

3 Things Adopting A Baby Through Transracial Adoption Taught Me

This guest post is by Daisy Finn, an adoptive mother.

Four years ago my husband and I became parents. We adopted a baby.

The reason we did it was quite common—inability to have kids of our own.

Back then the diagnosis sounded like a curse and it seemed like our lives had stopped, but we managed to find a solution—adoption.

We didn’t need much time to come up with this decision. We’d been planning to become parents for years, read tons of literature, and attended countless courses for future families.

Our journey as future adoptive parents started right after we went over the terrifying diagnosis.

The process didn’t take as long as we expected.

Agencies estimate a six-to-eight month wait time, but four months after signing the papers we were already matched and waiting for the birthmother to give birth.

We’d spent a lot of time with this woman. I could even say we’d became friends.

Even though the adoption was transracial, we’d never felt any discomfort nor experienced misunderstandings with our son’s birthmother.

Continue reading

18 Things To Say To Someone Who Is Adopting

This guest post is by Paige Knipfer, an adoptive mother.  

There are lots of blog posts out there about what NOT to say to someone who is adopting or has just adopted.

But there aren’t many about what you should say to them.

When we were adopting, we tried to enjoy the “waiting” or “pregnancy” stage of our adoption journey as much as we could.

But we felt like some of our family members and friends didn’t know how to react or show their support.

They didn’t have any first-hand experience of what it was like to adopt nor did they know anyone who had been adopted.

In short, they had no idea about the  journey we were going through or how to get behind our decision to build our family through adoption.

And so, when we were matched with our daughter’s birthmother, we decided to announce the news with the help of some fortune cookies we made. (They’re actually a lot easier to make than you think, thanks to these YouTube instructional videos). 

When they cracked them open, their reactions were incredible.  I wish I would have recorded them.

My husband’s mom squealed with joy, and my mother cried. My husband’s grandma had the best reaction of all.

She asked what was the birthmother’s name. I wanted to cry because someone had cared to ask. It turns out the birthmother’s name was the same as her grandmother’s, something we all took as a good omen. Continue reading

What’s The Best Adoption Profiles Website?

Joining an adoption profiles website is a proven way to connect with expectant parents who are looking at adoption for their baby.

But how do you find the best one?

Or rather, since there are so many ones to choose from, how do you find the one that’s best for you?

When we launched our first website 15 years ago, the internet was still in its infancy and there were only a handful of places to post your profile.

Since then, as more and more couples looked for ways to set themselves apart and increase their visibility, the number of sites has exploded—as have the number of parent profiles online.

From free services to ones that allow you to create your own updates, there’s something for everyone.

As with so much about adoption, there’s no simple answer on how to find the best website.

But before we get into that, let’s look at why you might need an adoption profiles service in the first place. Continue reading