Depending on which path you choose, whether you sign up with an agency or go the independent route with an attorney and try to find an open adoption match on your own, bringing a baby home can cost tens of thousands of dollars.
First things first: I swore up and down that I was going to have a girl. We all do at one point, don’t we?
The first time I met my son’s adoptive couple was at the gender ultrasound in the spring of 2014. The moment the doctor said it was a boy, I looked at the adoptive mother and asked, “Are you okay with a boy?”
Her face lit up with joy and she said, “We would be happy whether it’s a boy or a girl.” Continue reading →
Another myth is that we can’t take care of ourselves and don’t have anything to do with our children once they’re placed.
Let me tell you a little bit about my situation: I work a full time job to support myself. I’m a responsible adult. And I have a very open adoption with my daughter’s adoptive parents.
I chose adoption because I knew that she needed two parents, a mom and a dad, who could be there for her and give her everything she needed.
I was working extremely long, crazy hours at the time and was struggling just on my own.
Because I never wanted to have kids or get married, finding out I was pregnant and having to make such a big decision was very hard.
The family that owns the barber shop where I work told me they knew of a family dying to adopt.
That night I talked to Amy, the hopeful adoptive mother, on the phone and we automatically clicked.
At that moment, I knew that’s where my baby belonged.
I liked the fact that Amy and her husband, Brandon, were older, that Amy stayed at home, and that they lived in a small town and had animals. Plus, Amy was willing to have the open adoption I prayed for.
This was two weeks after I found out I was pregnant. We spent the rest of my pregnancy bonding and preparing for a baby.
I gave Amy and Brandon a gender reveal and we took family maternity pictures. Amy and I texted everyday and talked about everything.
And she came to visit me and I went to visit her before Olivia was born. We spent a lot of time together and really built a relationship. Amy was in the delivery room as well. It was amazing.
Since placement, it’s been an emotional roller coaster. Some days are great. But some days I can’t get out of bed.
A few people have made negative comments about adoption but then they see that I’m very much a part of Olivia’s life. I didn’t abandon her and I never will.
I think about her every single day. Amy and I still have a close as ever relationship and I see Olivia on a monthly basis.
My relationship with Amy and Brandon works out so well because of boundaries.
I respect her as Amy as Olivia’s mommy and I let her know I appreciate the daily pictures/monthly visits every chance I get. She doesn’t have to do that for me so I make sure not to take it for granted.
We are very very open about everything. We talk about our hopes, fears, annoyances. Everything.
My advice for an expectant mother considering adoption is to pray a lot and lean on your support system. God will guide you whichever the direction you are meant to go.
My advice for hopeful adoptive parents is to express what you really want and really try to build a relationship with your child’s birth mom and to follow through with what you talk about before birth.