Thoughts About My Son’s Adoption, After My Divorce

This guest post is by Mallory Baker, an adoptive mother.

My son, Anikyn was born in February of 2016. When he was three days old, I received a call from the Seneca Nation Child and Family Department that a relative of mine had a baby and they were looking to place him with family, per ICWA (Indian Child Welfare Act).

ICWA is a law that was created to ensure that Native American children are placed with family or within the tribe so that they still would know the culture.

Choosing to pick him up that day, with nothing but love to offer him, was by far the best decision I have ever made in my life. He is truly a gift. Continue reading

How My Relationship With My Children’s Birthmothers Has Evolved Over 13 Years

This guest post is by Hal Kaufman, an adoptive parent and the Founder of My Adoption Advisor.

I remember like it was yesterday…

…meeting our oldest son’s birth parents at a local restaurant, having slightly less awkward conversations than we had at our match meeting at the agency, in hopes of continuing to build our relationship. Maybe, just maybe, they’d ask us to parent their child.

…feeling inadequate as a new father because my son’s birth parents knew him better than I did during the first month or two.

…visiting my youngest son in the NICU and leaving little notes on yellow stickies for his birth mother – trying to balance seeing him whenever I could with respecting his birth mother’s desire to do the same while coping with her grief and need for privacy.

Those are just a few examples of how my relationships with our kids’ birth mothers began, but as our crying infants matured into tall, hairy(ier), inappropriate-joke-telling tweens and teens, my relationships with their birth mothers matured, as well.

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8 Top Questions We Get Asked While Waiting To Adopt

This guest post is by Paige Knipfer, an adoptive parent.

My husband and I are adopting again, and we are waiting for baby to be born. We get a lot of questions and are happy to share as much as we can to help others understand.

 I thought an article discussing the top or most frequent questions we and others get asked might help others who are going through the adoption process.

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Looking Back At My Open Adoption Placement 5 Years Later

This guest post is by Alice, a birthmother.

After two weeks of knowing I was pregnant with someone I wasn’t going to see again I poured myself into reading about families who wanted to adopt.

I was curious about adoption. There were so many profiles that I read, so many people wanting to give their love.

I was searching for something…a connection. I kept seeing my unborn baby as someone’s sibling and then when I found out his gender, as someone’s brother.

When you know, you know and when I chose the C family, I knew. I chose a family without any other children.

I felt he belonged in this family so strongly and that is another story on its own. Simply, for us, it was meant to be. Continue reading

Birth Parents and Adoptive Parents: More Alike Than You Think

This guest post is by Deanna Kahler, an adoptive mother and author.

Whether you’re a birth parent or an adoptive parent, adoption can be overwhelming and downright scary at times.

You’re faced with decisions, paperwork, waiting, searching, ups and downs and plenty of tears.

You may wonder: How will this all pan out? Am I doing the right thing?

While no one can fully understand your unique, personal journey, you can take comfort in knowing you are never alone.

While at times it may seem like birth parents and adoptive parents are on opposite sides, they are in fact an interconnected team.

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How Open Adoption Builds Bridges to Healing

This guest post is by Gayle H. Swift, an adoptive parent, co-founder of GIFT Family Services, and author.

We adopted our children in the early 80s before open adoption became mainstream. Over the years, our understanding of how to be a good, loving parent evolved significantly. My children are now in their thirties with children of their own.

Part of me still sees them as babies, toddlers… so loveable and sweet (most of the time) even as I watch and appreciate the capable adults they’ve become.  I love to recall those intimate moments of rocking them to sleep after a nighttime feeding.

These memories are etched on my heart, preserved in my memory banks and have touched my soul. These and other emotional gems helped stabilize and encourage me through the rocky times, the teen-age years of rebellion and independence, and the times when life served up hard lessons. Continue reading

How to Prepare For and Navigate An Open Adoption

This guest post is by Rachel Garlinghouse, an adoptive mother and author.

Our introduction to open adoption was abrupt.  Like, really, really abrupt.

One minute, we were on our way to the courthouse to gain custody of our first child, an African American newborn girl, and the next minute, I was talking to the social worker who informed us that our daughter’s birth mother wanted to meet after all.   

We wouldn’t have more than a few minutes to prepare for the meeting, because we were scheduled for court in a half hour.  We arrived at the court house, climbed two flights of stairs, and walked into a large waiting room where we immediately spotted the social worker, birth parent counselor, and the woman who had to be our daughter’s birth mom. Continue reading