What Is A Legal And Ethical Adoption?

This guest post is by Pamela, an adoptive mother. 

What makes an adoption legal and ethical?

This is a question being asked by so many hopeful adoptive parents and adoptive parents right now with all of the controversy surrounding Paul Petersen and others involved in seemingly unscrupulous adoption practices.

Paul Petersen is an attorney in Arizona who allegedly engaged in unethical and illegal activity placing Marshallese babies for adoption with American families.

He is accused of breaking numerous laws including human trafficking. He has been arrested along with several other people.

I feel that now that National Adoption Month is here, this would be a good time to have a discussion about what constitutes a legal and ethical adoption. Continue reading

Open Adoption: An Amazing, Unpredictable, Life-Changing Adventure

This guest post is by Amanda Jane Avis, an adoptive mother. 

When I began my open adoption journey, I had very little know-how. I truly had no clue as to what the appropriate steps were, the timeline necessary to plan for adoption, or any research about even how to parent under my belt. 

You could definitely say I was flying blind! What I did have, however was an iron clad faith and intention that I was, without a doubt, becoming a mommy via adoption. This knowing never wavered or altered. 

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The Four Words That Describe My Adoption Journey

This guest post is by Angela Boucher, an adoptive mother. 

For several years now each November I am honoured to write for National Adoption Month. As I reflected on something to write this year four words about my adoption journey came to mind: Promise, Hope, Wonder and Love. Continue reading

Why I’m Forever Grateful For My Son’s Adoptive Parents

This guest post is by Amanda Dodson, a birthmother.

In February 2020 it will be three years since I placed Caden for adoption. When I say it’s been such a roller coaster of emotions… oh boy, I mean it.

Open adoption has taught me so many things and I am still learning new things. I see Caden probably once a month or so.

I still remember my first visit I had with him. He was about 4 months old and I went in there thinking, “Will I cry?” “What do I say to him?” “How do I act?”

Surprisingly, it went really well, though, until I left and got to my car. I was a puddle of tears. I missed him so much, and wanted more time with him. Continue reading

Birthparents Aren’t Bad People

This guest post is by Alice, a birthmother.

I hate hate hate telling people I am a birth mom. 

After I tell most people I am filled with regrets. “Why did I tell them? They didn’t even seem to care. Their facial reaction wasn’t positive.”

I don’t think most people know how to handle this well. I used to think a birthmom or dad  was a bad person. I thought birthparents were irresponsible, on drugs, had no morals and slept around.

I believe children should have two loving parents who are married. I thought I was a bad person because I was single and pregnant.

I wasn’t a bad person. Birthparents aren’t bad people just because they get pregnant and choose adoption. Continue reading

Why We Need To Talk About Our Children’s Adoption Loudly and Proudly

Kerstin Lindquist is an adoptive mother and author.

There is this episode of “Friends” when Chandler and Monica are at another couple’s house getting advice about adoption. Chandler ends up accidently telling the couple’s kid that he is adopted, and hysterical fallout ensues. 

Years ago, when that episode was just getting to re-runs that scenario didn’t seem so far-fetched. Now almost two decades later, the thought of a twelve-year-old not knowing he is adopted seems ridiculous. 

The sad truth is it’s not. In a time when we share more than ever, when we reveal abuse and discrimination and paint the internet red with me too and #truth, there are those in our adoption community that are still keeping their stories a secret. 

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The Importance of Adoption Awareness for Our Children

This guest post is by Michelle Thorne, a birthmother and author.

Adoption awareness is such an important and daunting task. When my daughter began school in China, she developed a friendship with our neighbor’s son, who was also in her class. One day, he came to me to tattle on her.

“Cadence is lying!” It was in a sing-song voice that let me know this was not his first time tattling.

“She is? What about?” I asked him.

“She said she has an older brother.”

I leaned down to get on his level; this was not my first time defending myself. “She does.” Continue reading

How Adoptive Parents Can Help Their Children Grow Into Healthy Individuals

This guest post is by Gayle H. Swift, an adoptive mother, adoption professional and author.

The main focus of National Adoption Awareness Month centers on the need to find families for children in foster care for whom family reunification is not possible.

By natural association, this awareness campaign also brings to mind the general idea of adoption. 

Adoptive parents in particular want to share their delight; adoption was the mechanism that fulfilled our dream.

As an adoptive parent, I understand that. As both an adoption professional and an adoptive parent, I frequently assert that #AdoptionMatters. Continue reading

Why I Believe We Were Guided to Adoption

This guest post is by Deanna Kahler, an adoptive mother and author.

Do you believe in fate or destiny? Have you ever felt led to a certain path? Many adoptive parents will tell you they believe their child was meant to be with them, that they were guided to adoption — often years before they realized it.

I’m convinced this was the case with me. Here’s why. 

My family and I are planning to move, so naturally I’ve been cleaning out drawers and closets. The other day, I found a story I had written when I was in 8th grade, titled “The Power of Love.” Curious, I decided to read it. 

In the story, I described a sad, lonely girl whose parents had abandoned her. She lived on her own in the woods, feeling unloved and unwanted.

Continue reading