A Birthmother on How To Make Your Adoption Profile Shine

This guest post is by Gina Crotts, a birthmother.
 
Do you want to stand out among thousands of other parent profiles? How do you get an expectant mother to be drawn to your profile? 
 
Be yourself!
 
Sounds too simple to be true, but it’s as simple as that. Being yourself is the key ingredient to making your adoption profile shine.
 
Don’t say what you think an expectant parent would want to hear. Don’t play something you are not. Be the imperfect beautiful you that you are and she will take note. 
 
I was given very little information when picking an adoptive family for my baby. It was a sheet of basic “stats” like age, height, and ethnicity. A handful of pictures, accommodated by a single page of what the couple enjoyed doing together and that was it.
 

birthmother-on-how-to-make-your-adoption-profile-shine 
I remember wanting so much more. How am I going to make such an important decision off of 6 pictures and “we like to go hiking”.
 
It was difficult, but in the end, two things stood out to me. First, the adoptive mom was also adopted herself.
 
I felt some comfort in knowing she would be able to answer any question that my baby may have about being an adoptee.
 
Second, the adoptive dad looked like a giant teddy bear. His demeanor, yes even with just 6 pictures, came across very loving. I could picture his long, strong arms wrapped around my baby.
 
The first is a unique aspect that the adoptive mom was willing to share in their profile, and the second was an emotional attachment that I felt drawn too. 
 
There is much more opportunity for you to share with expectant parents now, than just a handful of photos and a one-page letter.
 
On your profile, share as much as possible. Create a video of you and your spouse. Connecting with your voices and how your voices connect to each is a valuable tool for an expectant parent.
 
Give her the idea of what your day-to-day life looks like. Include her in your errands. Where are you going today? Who are you talking to? What are you eating? As silly as it will feel, this is what she will want to see.
 
Vacations and holidays are fun for photos, but giving her a glimpse into your daily life through a video is priceless. Have fun with this and be creative.
 
Show her how your day plays out to give her a visual of what her baby will experience when he/she is a part of your family. 
 
Photos are important! Expectant parents want to see your face. No photos with sunglasses. No blurry photos. You want clear and beautiful photos.
 
They don’t have to be professional. You don’t even need a professional camera. Use your phone, set the timer, and clean up what’s behind you.
 
The focus should be you and your spouse. Outdoor natural lighting is always best. I always craved seeing the nursery where my baby would be sleeping.
 
Might sound unimportant to you, but any visual you can give an expectant parent of how her babies life will be after placement makes it easier for her to make a decision. 
 
Be positive. There is no doubt that the road that brought you to adoption may have been rough and emotional. Staying positive in your parent profile will create an energy that is inviting.
 
Every expectant parent is now facing a difficult decision on top of a lot of drama; make your profile a positive experience for her.
 
Happiness, kindness, honesty is welcoming and safe. A friend of mine picked her adoptive couple by the sweatshirt the adoptive father was wearing in one of his photos.
 
It was a college sweatshirt, the same college her dad had attended. That was all she needed for her confirmation.
 
It truly can be as simple as that. Your job is to set a positive tone and let the rest speak for itself. 
 
Adoptive parent profiles are like art. Everyone has an opinion of what they like and don’t like. Everyone has an opinion on what to say and not say. When it comes down to it, it’s art either way.
 
You never know what will draw that expectant mother to you, any more than an artist creating a masterpiece.
 
Like art, don’t rush it, take pride in your profile and make it your own masterpiece to share with the world. 
 
Seventeen years ago, I didn’t have a checklist of what I wanted in an adoptive couple.
 
If I was picking an adoptive couple again today, I believe I would create a checklist of questions similar to this:
 
  • Am I smiling or even laughing while reading this parent profile
  • How do I feel after I am done looking through their photos?
  • Is there a positive light and energy?
  • Does this couple look happy?
  • Are their pictures clear and easy to look at?
  • Have they taken pride and time in creating this for me?
  • Does it feel real?
  • Are they coming across fake?
  • Do I feel a connection?
  • Can I picture my baby in their arms? 
Be true to you. Create a video. Take great pictures. Stay positive. Take pride in your work.
 
With these simple steps, you’ll have a perfect adoptive parent profile that will uniquely shine above the rest. 
 
 Gina Crotts is a birthmother. To read more about Gina and follow her adoption story, visit Gina Crotts
 

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