Birthmothers Don’t Give Up Their Children 

This guest post is by Tysie Stoyan, an adoptive mother.

Almost two years ago today I became a firm believer that miracles really do come true.

On December 29, 2015, as tears fell down my face, I held a little boy in my arms for the first time.

Something I once believed was impossible came true. I became a mother.

I never imagined that my life could have so much love, happiness and completeness in it.

Five years earlier,  I was diagnosed with uterine cancer and told I could not have children of my own. Adoption was my only chance at motherhood.  

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When you first hear the word “adoption” it can be a very very scary thing to swallow.

Emotionally and physically, the journey can be bumpy. But at the end of the day it’s truly one of life’s greatest blessings and totally worth it.  

I was blessed with a beautiful young lady who came into my life and gifted me one of the greatest gift of a life time, a little boy named Zane. She and I now share motherhood and sisterhood .  

We have been grateful for a healthy open adoption. We Facebook often, video chat monthly and visit every few months .

I also created a Facebook page for Zane’s adventures so his entire birth family can follow his upbringing.  There is no jealousy or insecurities, just pure love for the son we share.

I am a firm believer that a child can’t have enough love in their life and I have learned  that it takes a village to successfully raise one.

We have been truly blessed with all of the love and support that Zane has in his life not just from his birth  family, but from our family, friends and even our community.  

In my adoption journey I’ve found that there are a lot small minds in the world — too much judgement and not enough understanding.

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I understand that years ago adoption was frowned upon and looked at as shameful. But good things can happen in life and sometimes you just need to change your way of thinking.

We’re all human, not perfect  and there are woman like me who look at adoption as a blessing because I can’t have children of my own .  

Adoption isnt an excuse for people to give up their unwanted children. It’s about giving waiting parents a chance to have a family.

I think the biggest questions I get about our adoption is, “How could a birth mother give up a child”  and “Why did I choose an open adoption”?

Birthmothers don’t give up their children. They place them in the arms of supportive and loving people. They give life, they give unconditional love, and they give a family a child .

 Zane’s birthmother, Jasmine (above), was in a hard place in her life when she looked at adoption.

She is the most selfless woman I have ever met. She put her child’s life first when some women keep their children and lack the time , financial support and love, or abort them.   

I see her as an angel in my life. I know I can’t repay her in life but my goal is to raise a young man who will love unconditionally, who will be successful and who will understand  the love he has in his life from both of his families.   

This is why I chose open adoption. I know one day Zane will ask me questions about why he was adopted  and who and where he came from.

why-i-chose-open-adoption

I believe that open adoption will allow him to have less questions and concerns.

Yes, both Zane’s birth mom and I had a lot fears about open adoption but it’s truly been a great blessing.

Truth is when love conquers fear. Birthmothers don’t give up on their children.

I believe that Jasmine and I embraced open adoption in order to give Zane a full understanding of who he is and how many people truly love him.  

Open adoption is one of the greatest gifts that life has given us.

Tysie Stoyan is a 30-year-old adoptive mother, business owner and cancer survivor.

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