In Praise of Birthmothers And Open Adoption

This guest post is by Pamela, a single adoptive mother.

A member of one of my adoption support groups called me the other day. She is “matched” with an expectant mom who intends to place her baby for adoption with this woman.

In the conversation with me, this woman–I’ll call her Sally–said to me that “the birth mom wants an open adoption including letters and visits.”

Sally went on to tell me that she is agreeing with “her birth mom” even though she and her husband do not want an open adoption.

Sally continued to tell me that she and her husband plan to completely close the adoption once the consents are signed and the revocation period has ended.

Sally said they plan to disconnect the 800 number that the “birth mom” calls them on. They plan to ignore the email account they use. Sally told me she will do anything to “get a baby” and that includes lying to this woman to get what they want.

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What Types Of Adoption Situations Are You Open To?

This guest post is by an adoptive mother who wishes to remain anonymous.

“What are you open to?” That was one of the questions I was asked at the beginning of our adoption journey.

I was taken aback by it, to be honest. If I were able to get pregnant I would be open to whatever situation I was in—there wouldn’t be a choice.

But I digress. After attending a few adoption workshops we learned that situations come up that may be controversial or considered less desirable to many families.

There was a greater likelihood that the child would have a special need or delay of some kind or would make our family stick out from others.

As an adoptive parent, you have a choice. What are you open to? What are you willing to accept? What are you willing to handle? What types of situations might you want to be considered for?

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How I Decided Adoption Was The Best Choice For My Baby

This guest post is by Teresa Leet, a birthmother.

I was not your “stereotypical” unplanned pregnant mom. I was a career mom in my late thirties, raising three girls on my own, going through the throes of a second failed marriage when we decided to give reconciliation a shot.

It did not stick! I then discovered I was pregnant. I was taking precautions too!

I asked my mom and the father of the baby (soon to be ex-husband) for advice and they both told me I needed to abort.

“I couldn’t bring this child into my situation,“ and “I guess you just want me to hand over my whole paycheck!” were their respective responses.   Read More


Why Adoptive Parents Need To Know And Respect Their Child’s Birthmother

This guest post is by Faith Getz Rousso, an adoptee and adoption attorney.

In full transparency, I wear a lot of hats. I am a mom to two biological sons and an adoption attorney who has been involved in hundreds of open adoptions.

I was also adopted into a loving family that never expected me to know my biological family.

Fifty-plus years ago, I was placed with my family by an adoption agency. My family was matched based on demographics.

Both families shared the same nationality, same religion, and many of the same physical characteristics. As I was told, “I was the most beautiful baby there… I was chosen.”  Read More