A Birthmother’s Advice On How To Honor Your Child’s Birth Parents

This guest post is by Lynea, a birthmother and the founder of Life After Placement.

I became a birth mom 28 years ago when I made the courageous decision to place my baby for adoption. My daughter and I reunited 18 years ago.

I experienced what those things do to a birth mother. The relationship with the adoptive parents, positive and negative, the minimal interactions through the years with them and my daughter, reunification and handling the challenges that it brings were all unchartered territory as far as I could determine.

My experience brought me to a place where I knew that Birth Moms needed more support and understanding, so I started Life After Placement (LAP). Life After Placement is a safe place created by Birth Moms for Birth Moms to get support, education and resources for all things post placement.

Our goal is to help society see birth parents as equals in the paradigm of adoption.

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What Our Sons’ Relationships With Their Birth Families Look Like 7 Years In

This guest post is by Brian Esser, an adoptive father and attorney.

My seven-year old son Keith initiated the most recent visit with his birth family.

Our spring and early summer had been a hive of activity, and we had overlooked setting up our usual summer visit with his “Pennsylvania family,” as he calls his birth mother, her new husband, and the four kids she is parenting, with one more on the way.

He thought some weekend in August would be a good idea. He is a planner.

We were originally discussing a petting zoo in Pennsylvania, but there was a threat of rain, so opted for the aquarium in Camden, New Jersey.

It can be a challenge to find a suitable place for kids who range from a young teenager to preschoolers, and a zoo or aquarium has proven to work well. (Pro tip: With an aquarium, or any indoor space, you never have to change location because of rain, excessive heat, or snow.)

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Open Adoption Doesn’t Come With A Manual. Here’s What I’ve Figured Out As An Adoptive Parent

This guest post is by AdoptiveBlackMom, an adoptive mother and blogger.

I was a very naïve parent when Hope first became my daughter. She was 12 at the time, and while she talked about her custodial parent a lot she never really had much to say about her other parent or her extended family.

I listened to the things that Hope’s social worker said about her extended biological family; most of it wasn’t very nice.

I found myself with a lot of questions about them. How did Hope end up in foster care? Where were they? Didn’t they want to raise her? Were they unable to? Why? What was the real story that brought Hope and I together?

I initially figured that I would never have the answer to my questions. I knew Hope had questions since she certainly had a lot of big emotions when it came to her history and her family. Read More

What People Don’t Understand About Open Adoption

This guest post is by Tennille, an adoptive mother. 

It was nearly five years ago when we were blessed to welcome our son into our family—he is the most amazing little boy! We built our family through adoption and have an open relationship with his birth family.

Many people have asked us how do we do it. They say they couldn’t. They ask if it is hard to have communication with our son’s birth family or if it is hard to share him.

I think it might be easy to wonder about those things if you haven’t experienced the life-changing events that we have. We always wanted a family and our bodies just couldn’t make that happen.

Our desire to love and raise a child grew more intense as our efforts failed. When we began to look at building our family through adoption it was different from battling infertility—it was the first time I felt at peace during our whole journey.

Growing up, I had dreamed about adopting children. I always wanted a house full of kids. When my husband and I began to discuss adoption, I shared my concerns about having a closed adoption.

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