A Birthmother’s Advice on How To Build Trust in An Open Adoption

This guest post is by Michelle Thorne, a birthmother.

Navigating an open adoption is not for the faint of heart. It takes bravery and love and work.

I would say, even as a birthmother in my own adoption, I have massive anxiety surrounding every moment of contact.

I never want to overstep my bounds or do anything that would cause further separation.

It’s not my son’s parents who make me feel this way, but an ingrained fear that I don’t deserve a relationship with him.

I am not alone in this.

“I want to tell them but I’m afraid…”

“I wish they sent me more pictures but I don’t want to bother them.”

“It really hurt me that they didn’t send me anything on his birthday.” Read More

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What It Feels Like To Be A Birthmother

This guest post is by Gina Crotts, a birthmother.

The small window that sits above the kitchen sink is just big enough to feel the heat of the sun upon my face. I load the dishes into the dishwasher as I hear the laughter of my three children. They chase each other then fall to the ground completely entertained by the fresh air and the dancing trees around them. 

I find myself in this position often, watching the three of them in awe that they are mine. I reflect on the pregnancy and birth of each one of them and what beautiful miracles they are.

I send gratitude to the sky to be their mother, to teach them, to love them, but more importantly to learn from them. I cannot imagine one without the other and the different roles and personalities that they bring into our home. 

Then I think about her and how it would be, four of them, laughing under the dancing trees. I close my eyes and I see her there, guiding the three younger with grace. Read More

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Why We Have An Open Relationship With Our Son’s Birth Family

This guest post is by Tennille, an adoptive mother. 

It was bedtime, the stories had been read and prayers had been said. Then, out of the blue, our son said, “Mommy, you were praying for me while I was playing in Kelli’s tummy.”

Mateus was 2 1/2 at the time, and his comment filled my heart with joy.

When my husband and I were thinking about building our family through adoption, we had a discussion about open versus closed adoptions.

We agreed that we would raise our child to always know they had been adopted, to know who and where their birth family was, and to make sure they knew they were always wanted, loved, treasured, wished and prayed for.

Mateus is 3 1/2 now and we continue to build an open relationship with his birth family.  Read More

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Our Christmas Adoption Story

This guest post is by Danielle Beattie, an adoptive mother and adoptee.

Ever since I was a young girl  I knew I wanted two thing: to be a mom and to adopt a child. 

I was adopted and wanted to adopt

On March 11, 2005 my first wish came true. I became a mom when I gave birth to a little boy who I named Nicolas.

But soon after, on May 9, my world came crashing down when he passed away.

A lot of people asked or told me to have another. I couldn’t. I just didn’t want to have another.

I wanted my Nicolas back but that wasn’t going to happen. I said I’ll give it three years, I would give myself three years until I would try to have another baby.

Well, three years went by.  It wasn’t that I didn’t want another baby. It just never happened — that is, until almost 10 years later. Read More

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