This guest post is by Makena, a birthmother.
Happiness: Where does it come from?
Many people say “I will be happy when…” as though the only time you can be happy is when you get something or get to a certain stage in life.
But being happy in the here and now is one of the most important things you can do for yourself.
When I was expecting my birthson, Mason, I remember I would wish for things.
I would think to myself that once my boyfriend talked to me again, I would be happy. But then I realized that wasn’t going to make me happy.
It bothers me when people live their lives in the future because you can’t. You have to live your life in the here and now. Read More
This guest post is by Adoptive Black Mom, an adoptive mother and blogger.
My daughter Hope and I became a family nearly four years ago. It’s been a great four years, but to be perfectly honest it’s been a difficult four years as well.
It would be easy to assign all of our family’s challenges to all of the issues that brought Hope to a period in her life where she needed a new permanent home, but that wouldn’t be true.
Certainly, those issues shaped our experience, but many of our challenges are routine, post-adoption issues.
In the years since Hope became my daughter, I’ve learned that our experiences aren’t all that unique. Lots of families struggle like us; sadly, but many adoptive struggle in silence.
The public’s desire for happy ending adoption stories is strong. My and Hope’s story is a happy one, but we’ve both learned that in the context of adoption, we’ve had to redefine love and happiness.
In the early days of my adoption journey, I thought I had a good sense of what parenting my daughter would be like. I would parent much like my parents parented me, with a few trauma-friendly adjustments.
I thought I would have this amazing village of family and friends. I had visions of creating this lovely council of men to help provide father figures to my daughter. Read More
This guest post is by Anthony Zurica, an adoption attorney.
Adopting a child into a new home can be a whirlwind of activity.
In addition to the huge excitement and joy that comes attached with expanding the family, there is often a bigger amount of concern as to whether the child will be comfy with adapting to the new environment, especially if he is an older child.
While you might feel tempted to create an adoring design in your home, it is important to leave plenty of room for self-expression.
You also want to ensure that the newcomer is learning while adapting to the ‘new home’ you are trying to create for him.
One of the fastest ways through which you can keep adoptees occupied, engaged and learning at the same time is to hook them up with movies; movies tailored for them.
Generally, some movies and TV shows have great themes that describe happy adoption, even if not always well-implemented, are able to create a relatable experience for adoptive families and the adopted children in a way they can identify with.
Here are 5 adoption-friendly movies – in no particular order – for those involved in the adoption process:
This 2014 movie portrays a beautiful young girl who was hopelessly lost within the New York City foster care program yet stayed strong and smart enough to survive the woes of NYC streets.
Annie was unlucky to have stayed with a mean foster mom, Miss Hannigan but luck shined on her when she met a billionaire, Will Stacks, who saved her from a near-car accident.
The scene was videotaped by an unknown passerby. Stacks would use this to boost his polls for an upcoming election in NYC. Annie only had one hope of having her parents back someday.
Interesting action film for younger boys, a rat (Master Splinter) played the role of an excellent adoptive father with 4 teenage turtles in his care.
They had a need to fight the enemies of the city but cannot be seen in daylight. The movie laid a strong emphasis on family living and working together as one.
Jim and Cindy Green were not fortunate with child-bearing as a result of infertility.
Through the help of Disney Magic, a baby grew in their garden just after dreaming about whom their child would be.
Behold, a Timothy Green! The couple raised Timothy as their own child but soon lost him after he disappeared, leaving a warning message that they both were ready to be parents.
This leaves Jim and Cindy pursuing adoption a year later.
Tarzan, a human raised by an ape, Kala, in the jungle, begins to make inquiries about his origin. Tarzan learned about the jungle culture and began to live just like its inmates.
However, the film celebrates a “two worlds, one family” kind of theme.
This leaves Tarzan to figure out how exactly he fits into the world of apes and other animals.
A couple was faced with the hardest decision of their lives by having to adopt a child who came from nowhere.
Superman’s father Jor-El had made the decision from a planet far away to save his only son as he watched his world crumble.
The couple did their best to provide the best for him but later had to deal with identity-formation issues for the child. Being Superman, he just can’t stop being noticed.
These 5 films aren’t just great movies to watch together as a family, they’re also wonderful conversation-starters about adoption for you and your children.
Anthony Zurica is an experienced adoption attorney covering all of New York, helping single adults, heterosexual and same sex couples fulfill their dream of becoming parents. For more information, check out www.nycadoptionlawyer.com.
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Ashley Mitchell is a birthmother and the president of Lifetime Healing, LLC.
Throughout this past decade I have seen a common thread throughout the birth mother communities: a lack of support after relinquishment.
The mission of Lifetime Healing is to make sure that any woman that chooses to place her child for adoption will have free lifetime support, no matter where she lives.
We do not believe that post-placement care should be a luxury, it should be the standard.
I talk all the time about the 3 R’s of adoption: Rights, Roles and Responsibility. I want to share with you some thoughts on the first R – Rights of the mother.