Last week I shared 25 Inspirational Quotations and Poems for Adopting Parents. This week it’s expectant parents considering adoption and their families’ turn.
Finding adoptive parents for your baby is an act of love that takes strength and courage. If you’re an expectant parent, no decision will be harder to make — or cause you to question yourself more and feel cut off from the rest of the world.
That’s why the words from this next group of people are so important. Many of them have been in your shoes.
They’ve faced an unplanned pregnancy and created an open adoption plan. They understand the conflicting emotions you’re experiencing because they’ve experienced them themselves.
As a result, their observations can be seen as both a reminder of the decision you’ve made and a validation of why you’ve made it.
Whatever you decide to do next, I hope their words give you comfort and peace — and that at the very least they make you feel a little less alone.
“He is mine in a way that he will never be hers, yet he is hers in a way that he will never be mine, and so together, we are motherhood.” Desha Woodall
“If a mother and father can love more than one child then why is it so hard to understand that a child can love more than one mother and father?” Unknown
“I know (my birth mother) must have had a lot of love for me to want to give (me) what she felt was a better chance.”
“If you love someone unconditionally and with your whole heart, then you will do what is best for them, not you. I have never learned a harder lesson than giving my child up for adoption, and I probably never will.”
“Giving birth does not make a mother…Placing a child for adoption does not make her less of one.”
“I once heard a girl who had decided to parent her child say, “My baby’s the best thing that ever happened to me.” I believed her. But I wanted to ask, “Are you the best thing that could’ve happened to your baby?”…Had I loved (my son) any less—one ounce less—he would be with me now! My love for him was the only thing that could enable me to break my own heart. I didn’t just feel love; I did what love dictated.”
“I felt more love for my baby than I had ever experienced before. But I found that the more I loved him, the more I wanted to find out what would be best for him throughout his entire life. The things I wanted most for him (a stable family with a mother and father, a home to live in, a mother who could stay at home with him, financial security, etc.) were things I could not provide. So it was because I loved him so much that I chose adoption.”
“Children and mothers never truly part, bound together by the beating of one another’s heart.”
“An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break.”
An ancient Chinese belief
“Having a child means a piece of your heart is walking around in the world.”
“Beauty seen is never lost.”
John Greenleaf Whittler
“Grief isn’t selfish, wrong or untrue
Grief is a natural response to missing you.”
“A mother’s love begins
Before the child is born
And lasts through time
And many wounds
And days of joy
And days of sorrow
Until, at the end
Is that solid core
That began as love
Before the child was born.”
“It has been said that adoption is more like a marriage than a birth: two (or more) individuals, each with their own unique mix of needs, patterns, and genetic history, coming together with love, hope, and commitment for a joint future. You become a family not because you share the same genes, but because you share love for each other.”
“When you honor the birth family, you honor the child. When you don’t honor the birth family, the child will believe that something is inherently wrong with him/her.”
“You can let the grief control you or you can control the grief.”
“There are two different kinds of strength. There’s the strength to make a parenting plan and then there’s the strength to give that plan to another.”
“Children need two things. One is roots and the other is wings.”
“Family isn’t always blood. It’s the people in your life who want you in theirs; the ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile, and who love you no matter what.”