Looking On The Bright Side As We Wait For An Open Adoption Match

Tucker and Parker can't Wait to have a new friend to play with!This guest post is by Nicole, a hopeful adoptive mother and blogger.

The adoption journey for us so far has been an interesting one. We knew that if we wanted to have a family we’d adopt because I didn’t want to do IVF.

Well, that is much easier said than done.

At the time we were first investigating adoption options, we kept hitting road blocks. Like the agency was closed or they only did closed adoptions. We wanted at the very least a semi-open adoption.

Years went by and then one day a friend and co-worker of my husband, Don, mentioned an agency that they’d found and were going through to adopt. Don sent me the link and I contacted them for more information.

We did a phone call to ask our questions and get them answered and signed up for the weekend workshop which was in March the following year.

As I was taking it all in and talking with others at the workshop — one couple had adopted before and were a great resource — Don was getting more and more excited about the prospects of what an open adoption could mean for us.

He was seriously like a kid in the candy store by the time we met our adoption coordinator for the first time. I, on the other hand left crying.

So many emotions; elation, anxiousness, excitement, nervousness, I couldn’t believe we’d signed the papers and were on our way.

We left that day with two additional books to read on open adoption. By the next morning I had already finished “The Kid,” one of the books, before our workshop had even started.

Our agency is in another state so as soon as we got home I began gathering the information we’d need to do our home study. Don was set to go to Ghana a few weeks after our workshops so I had everything together when he returned.

I think most prospective adopting couples stress about the home study but it really was the easiest part.

Answer everything as thoroughly as you can and don’t stress the white glove test, it doesn’t happen.

Also, the key here is keeping your humor.

Adoption is stressful and being able to laugh at yourself will be key in staying on task.

The other thing we didn’t do but should have was start our letter to a prospective mom right out of the workshop.

It held us up by five months. It is just a design/edit/design/print process that really takes time. This aspect of the process taught me that the wait was going to be hard. I would be right!

We are still waiting for our child to find us.

In fact I’ve never been one to write about myself, our life, or put us out there on social media. We’d always been quite private.

One of the many things adoption teaches you is let go, get out there and learn marketing, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, and how to blog.

I just started our blog but already it’s helped me put things in perspective. I want to remember that not every day was an easy one and that we are all humans who need to laugh and cry.

I try to put a fun spin on things either with words or in pictures.

It can be hard like the day we met a couple who were considering us, loved them and they us but in the end we got the call to say they went with the other couple.

So difficult to hear and experience but it strengthened my resolve it can happen at literally anytime. Someday, I can look back at it with our child and say this is the story of our family and you were so worth it!

Other things I do besides update our social sites is to try and keep busy with travel, friends, family, and home projects. We recently went to meet up with a bunch of friends in Atlanta for a convention get together.

This summer we worked on projects in the yard between battling the bugs eating our food in the garden (the bugs pretty much won this year!) to finishing a patio we’d been working on.

We also have been seeing friends or family every weekend for game days. It helps to “get out of your head” even for a few hours or a few days. As our journey continues I try to look on the bright side and wait for the adrenaline rush from a contact who could be the one.

Nicole and her husband, Don, and  live with their “boys” Tucker, Parker (above), Oscar and Chance (cats) and are waiting to complete their family through open adoption. They’ve been married for 18 years and counting, are animal lovers and can’t wait to share their lives with a child. To find out more about them check out their blog.

Are you waiting to adopt?
If you’re looking for ways to increase your visibility and connect with others in the community, including prospective birthparents, share your story with us.


One thought on “Looking On The Bright Side As We Wait For An Open Adoption Match”

  1. Thank you for sharing your story. It is always helpful to hear other waiting to grow their families through adoption going through similar things. We adopted our son 3 years ago, and we are currently trying to grow our family through adoption again. With our first domestic open adoption, we barely had a blog. This time is far different. The Blog, Facebook page, Twitter and Instagram make this story different. http://andyandmarieadopt.blogspot.com/

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