Choosing a family to raise your baby is probably the hardest decisions you’ll ever make. But it could also be the easiest.
What do we mean by that? Let’s start with the hardest part. Placing a baby for adoption can be scary and confusing.
- Where do you begin?
- How do you find a family for your baby?
- How do you know if the family you’ve chosen is the right one and will do everything they say they will?
But it could also be an easy decision. Because once you find the family you’re looking for, you’ll not only know it right away. You’ll feel it. And everything else will quickly fall into place.
So how do you go about finding such a family? Believe it or not, you can actually learn quite a lot without even talking to one. Just click on their Adoption Profile and you’ll see:
- How long they’ve been together
- Their interests and lifestyle
- Details about their family and home
- Their views about adoption and parenting
- What kind of relationship they would like to have with you
As far as introductions goes, a parent profile is as good as any. Now it’s your turn. What are you looking for when it comes to an adoptive family? What traits or values are important to you? Do you want
- A family that lives nearby or far away?
- That already has a child so that your child will have a sibling?
- A stay-at-home mom?
Similarly, is the family’s religion or ethnic background important to you? What about sports? Education? Family background?
As you click through the profiles, is there one in particular that jumps out at you? One that has more of the characteristics and qualities that you’re looking for than others?
Finding the right family takes time. It’s like falling in love. At the end of the day, it all comes down to chemistry – a feeling or connection that’s hard to put into words. Sometimes you’ll feel it right away. Other times it takes a little longer.
Whatever the case may be, keep an open mind and don’t rush into anything until you’re ready. Be realistic, but don’t settle just for the sake of settling.
So what happens when you find “the One”? You’ll still need to check them out. Or have your adoption worker check them out for you. For one thing, you’ll want to make sure they’re everything they say they are. And the only way to do that is to speak to them and, eventually, to meet them face-to-face.
But there’s lots of time for that. For now, figure out what you want out of your relationship, and open adoption in general, and take things one step at a time.