Reflections On Mother’s Day By An Adoptive Mom-In-Waiting

This guest blog is by Melinda, a single hopeful adoptive parent.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Happy Mother’s Day,
I love you!

So I wasn’t the most creative poet at age 6. And I’m still not, decades later. But my mom loved my homemade cards on Mother’s Day.

This year, as a hopeful adoptive parent, I’m looking forward to getting my own handmade cards on Mother’s Day.  But as a single, Asian hopeful adoptive parent in the domestic adoption pool, I know it may be a while before I get matched.

Still, this Mother’s Day won’t pass without me feeling a whole gamut of emotions:

Excited.  Hopeful.  Eager.

Joyful.  Playful.  Jubilant.

Grateful.  Fortunate.  Blessed.

Amazed.  Awed.  Inspired. Anxious.

Content.  Peaceful.  Serene.

Hopeful about finding an adoption match

I’m excited to start a family of my own and hopeful about finding the right match. I’m eager to meet my child’s birth mom and hold my new little one in my arms.  I want to inhale her baby smell, caress her smooth baby skin, and kiss her soft, downy hair.

I’m joyful imagining the playful times we’ll have, the giggles we’ll share, and the jubilance with which we’ll explore.  I share lots of laughter and fun now with my nephews and friends’ kids.

Some of my fondest memories include: doing simultaneous splits mid-air while jumping on a trampoline, singing Vive Las Vegas while shaking our booties, playing fierce games of Hangman, and savoring every delicious morsel of lychee shaved ice. I can’t wait to share these adventures with my child, and I can’t wait to experience it all with the wonder and curiosity a child brings.

I feel grateful for the opportunity to adopt, for the incredible gift all birth moms bestow upon adoptive parents.  I feel fortunate to be at a good place in life — financially secure in an established career, living in a well-educated, progressive town, and surrounded by a strong network of family and friends who are cheering me on in my journey to motherhood.

Inspired by the love of birth mothers

I’m blessed to have parents who are eager to meet their grandchild-to-be, a host of positive male role models (including three brothers, numerous cousins, and countless friends), supportive neighbors, and a wise pool of friends who are biological moms, adoptive moms, and single moms.

I am amazed by the courage, awed by the selflessness, and inspired by the tremendous love of birth mothers in choosing adoption.  My child’s birth mom will always have a cherished place in our lives.

I sometimes get anxious about matching.  When will I match?  Will I ever match?

But most of the time I feel content and at peace with the adoption journey.  I know this is the right path for me.  And this serenity erases any (well, most!) anxiety.

Next year, I hope to celebrate Mother’s Day as a mom, with my emotions centered on joy.  Until then, I’m sending warm wishes and lots of appreciation to all mothers this year on Birthmother’s Day and Mother’s Day!

Melinda is from the San Francisco Bay Area and is excited to grow her family through open adoption.

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