Waiting To Adopt? The Biggest Lesson I Learned After Two Adoptions

This guest post is by Lauren Serio, an adoptive mom.

We’ve all heard the quote about enjoying the journey, not just the destination.  It’s so easy, at least for me, to become so focused on the end goal that I don’t take a minute to look up and enjoy where I’m at NOW. 

I find this to be especially true in the adoption journey.  We are always trying to get to the next phase, the next door, the match, the placement or the finalization. But there is a lot of time in between those things. There is a whole lot of waiting. 

Really, if you think about it,  the adoption journey could easily be compared to one big giant house. In this journey,  we spend most of our time in the hallway.

We spend so much  time trying to get one door to open or trying desperately to keep another door closed. Even though we spend so much time in this  hallway–in this wait–it’s very rarely talked about in a positive light. 

My family has spent a lot of time in one hallway or another. On my wedding day, I waited for the double doors to open as I stood in the hallway. Nervously pulling at my shirt and fixing my hair, I waited in the hallway for my big interview. 

In December of 2016, my phone rang in the hallway — our little boy had arrived. Then, just four short months ago, I stood in a hospital hallway, tears of joy running down my face as I heard “come meet your little girl.”

I could go on and on about these big, huge, monumental events that took place in both a literal and symbolic hallway. The in-between of where we were, where we are and where we are going. 

I know that waiting is hard. 

Anyone who knows me will tell you — I do not wait well.  But if I learned anything through three years and two adoptions it is that the waiting IS where it all happens. The waiting is the story. 

The hallway is where you get your home study  approval, the bad news, the good news, the call or the judge’s final decision. 

Wherever you are in the wait–be right there. Stand right there. The door IS going to open so take a minute and dance in hallway. Lean in to all those feelings: the excitement, the anticipation , the stress, the nervousness—all of it.  Feel those feelings because the bad ones and the good ones–they are all fleeting. 

Your story is unfolding right before your eyes and you could very well miss it. 

This is your family. This is your story. This is your journey. 

I promise you, the door will eventually open. All you need to do is keep walking. 

Lauren is an adoptive mom to two sweet kiddos. She runs on coffee and crafts and has become an advocate for adoption education and ethics. She owns PJ and the Bug Adoption Profile Books and is a consultant for Journey Adoption Consultants.  Learn more @LaurenontheJourney

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