This guest post is by Makena, a birthmother.
As I look back on my adoption placement experience, there was a lot that fell into place.
In the beginning, being 16, pregnant and a sophomore in high school, I thought my life was going to end up in the worst of circumstances. I struggled with faith and hope.
But after I outlined the pros and cons of placing versus parenting and picked my son’s adoptive parents, one thing after another fell into place.
First things first: I swore up and down that I was going to have a girl. We all do at one point, don’t we?
The first time I met my son’s adoptive couple was at the gender ultrasound in the spring of 2014. The moment the doctor said it was a boy, I looked at the adoptive mother and asked, “Are you okay with a boy?”
Her face lit up with joy and she said, “We would be happy whether it’s a boy or a girl.”
I came to know that they had a room painted and ready for a beautiful baby boy they were going to adopt. They had clothes, toys, cribs, crafts, and everything I could have dreamed of for my son at the time. A blessing from one of their previous trials.
Later I discovered that a few days after that failed placement they had posted their profile. That was when I saw it and messaged them to say I had chosen them.
They were hesitant when they initially got the email because it is unusual for adoptive parents to get chosen by a potential birth parent before they meet.
But I just knew they were the right parents for my son. This was another blessing after their failed placement.
Just a note: their placement failed not because they decided not to go ahead with the adoption, but rather because the couple who had chosen them decided to parent in the last minute in the hospital. Their decision left some people devastated and others in a state of complete happiness.
I’m happy for that couple because if it they hadn’t chosen to parent I would have never had the chance to have my birth son’s parents as his adoptive parents. This is yet another blessing.
Whether it was how I met the adoptive couple, how they were able to chose to adopt again, how we connected, or even the little things like naming the child we love so much, everything fell into place after I changed my attitude of only seeing what I wanted.
It was like looking through a particular lens, and then taking that lens off and seeing the blessings and events taking place.
Everything fell into place for my birth son’s adoptive parents and for my family and me. We were all blessed by the trials we had experienced.
When you’re going through the adoption process, things can seem so gloomy and scary at times. But I promise if you take off that lens and look outside yourself to see the bigger picture, things will fall into place.
It takes a lot of faith, trust, endurance, integrity, and hope to get you to where you can find peace and assurance in all things.
My challenge to you is to take off that lens and take a new perspective with a positive attitude. If you do all that you can, God will do the rest.
Makena is a birth mother from Idaho who placed her birth son in 2014. She now mentors expectant mothers who are planning to place their children and works with an adoption organization in her community.
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