Happy Valentine’s Day! Since this is the day for lovers, we figured it was the perfect time to celebrate what people love about open adoption.
Adoptive parents, birth parents, waiting parents, adoptees and adoption professionals–they’ve all weighed in with their thoughts. Open adoption, how do we love thee? Let us count the ways.
Patricia Dischler, Birthmother and Author What I love about open adoption is it allows so many people to love a child. When the adults put the child first, and build relationships built on honesty and openness, the child grows up without any of the stereotypes or myths that can hinder a successful adoption. Instead, the child grows up learning respect, honesty, and love. What more could a parent want for a child? |
Pamela, Adoptee and Adoptive Mother As an adoptee myself, I have always wondered and fantasized about my birth family with so many unanswered questions that continue to haunt me. For my adopted daughter, I wanted something different, to make her feel more complete. The relationship we have with her birth family is so wonderful and more like distant relatives that we look forward to seeing twice a year. It will never be a “big deal” for her as it would be for me to try to meet my birthmother or find information. |
Michelle Erich, Adoption Attorney Adoption is a win-win-WIN scenario. A child is blessed with a stable home and future opportunities. The secure family adopting after lonely years waiting to be parents is overjoyed. Finally, a mother who lovingly chose life and a parenting plan through adoption protects her child from homelessness, domestic violence, or Child Protective Services/foster care. She can have an open adoption, even a contact agreement. All winners! What’s not to love? |
Coley, Birthmom Buds For me as a birthmother, open adoption is bittersweet but since it’s Valentine’s Day, let’s focus on love. I love that because of open adoption I am able to have a relationship with my (birth)son, know that he is healthy and happy and watch him grow up. I also love the fact that the son I parent and my birthson are able to know one another. |
William Blacquiere, Bethany Christian Services Open adoption is a beautiful picture of each involved party being vulnerable and extending grace to one another. The relationship that grows and develops between the birthfamily, adoptive family, and the child they all love is a depiction of beauty from ashes. |
Josh and Lindsey Redfern, The R House We love the confidence that open adoption offers our children. They know who they are and know their roots. As adoptive parents, we love that our family has grown exponentially to include the biological families of our kids. We love having them in our home and have cherished the joy they continually bring into our would. Incredible people! Plus, I will never see anything wrong with more people loving our kids. |
Deborah, A Birthmother’s Love I love the fact that my birth son will never have to wonder about how much I love him. He knows. I love that I can watch him grow and find joy in his life through my open adoption. I love the sisterhood and close friendship I have with his mother as well as the sisterhood and closeness I feel with his little sister’s birth mother. I love being able to see myself in him. I love that my birth son has so many people who love him and are cheering for him to succeed. I love open adoption! |
Carrie Goldman, Portrait Of An Adoption My daughter Katie’s angst about feeling abandoned is soothed by her ability to call her birthmom whenever she needs to connect. Katie’s birthmom tells her, “I love you more than anything,” and that emotional closeness frees Katie up a little more to love us and accept our love. |
Greg Franklin, Adoption Attorney I’ve worked with almost 2,000 adoptive families and birth parents. Many people are leery of openness at first – there is the fear of the unknown, perceived loss of privacy, and just general uncertainty. Many people come to understand, though, that openness is knowledge and reassurance and they are grateful to move through their adoption lives with this door wide open. |
Mardie Caldwell, Lifetime Adoption Center I love that open adoption gives a child the opportunity to know that his adoption was a choice made out of great love, with a birth mother who cared more about him than her own desires, and that his adoptive parents embrace not only him, but his biological family and heritage as well. |
Preetha and Don, Hopeful Adoptive Parents Given that we immigrated to the U.S. from another country, it has always been important for us to stay connected to our roots. It’s for that reason, we love the philosophy of open adoption. It would allow us to form connections with our child’s birth parents, and this would be a great way for our child to learn where he/she came from. |
Mary Beth Wells, Precious Baby Dolls Being a birth mom and an adoptive mom I know the importance of allowing our children the freedom and giving them the encouragement to know their heritage as well as the love and courage their birthparents had. This strengthens their character and makes them whole. |
Lori Ingber, Parent Match Just as each person and each family is unique, so too is each adoption. I love that the adoption community has grown to embrace so many ways of building families, including open adoption. The more options expectant and adopting parents have to explore, the greater the likelihood that they will find the right fit. I’ve seen some truly remarkable open adoption relationships that were the best outcome for everyone. |
Thea Ramirez, Adoption-Share When an open adoption is agreed upon and both sides are keeping their commitments to each other, it is one of the most beautiful gifts a child will carry with him or her throughout their life! He or she will know the parent(s) who sacrificed their desire to parent and offered instead a better life for their child. Children who are the recipients of this amazing blessing of a healthy open adoption have a profound sense of identity and wholeness as it pertains to their heritage. |
Holly Erritt, Little Blessings Adoption Services Open adoption can be a wonderful relationship full of love, understanding, comfort, peace, trust, respect, support, and friendship. We have been incredibly blessed to have an ongoing relationship with our children’s birth mothers and they will forever be a part of us. We are so thankful for who they are and for the miracles they have given us. “I prayed for this child and the Lord has granted me what I’ve asked of Him.” I Samuel 1:27 |
Star Prattas, Adoptive Parent The adoption of our older daughter is closed, at the request of her birth parents. My husband and I always said that if we ever adopted again, we would hope for an open adoption. Our wishes were fulfilled when we adopted our younger daughter. We now have the wonderful opportunity to frequently say to her birth parents three very special words. Words that we have not yet spoken to the birth parents of our older daughter, but pray to say one day … “I love you”!! |
Tim Elder, Infant Adoption Guide What I love about open adoption is that in some way you get to share the life of your child with their birthmother. I love that she gets to see her child’s life – however that may happen – so that she knows she made the most loving decision. I love that through open adoption, adoptive parents can better answer questions that their child has about being adopted. |
Chuck Johnson, National Council For Adoption I have seen that open adoption has the potential to benefit all of the participants. Adoptive parents can see firsthand the love that biological parents have for their child and the careful, deliberative thought that goes into making an adoption plan. Open adoption also allows biological parents who desire ongoing contact the opportunity to see the real benefit of their adoption decision, as they watch their child grow and thrive in a safe, loving, permanent family. |
Dawn Davenport, Creating A Family What we love about open adoption is that it’s good for families (both adoptive and birth) and it’s good for kids. Creating a Family is a nonprofit with the mission of educating and supporting pre and post adoptive families because we believe that too is good for kids. |
Michelle and Michael, Hopeful adoptive parents We can’t wait to adopt and we love the idea of an open adoption. We think it would help our child to know that they were placed for adoption out of love if they know that we have been able to build and maintain a relationship with their birthparents. It would remove the mystery of who they are and where they came from because we would have access to this information. |
| Now it’s your turn: what do you love about open adoption? What’s been the best part of the open adoption process? Tell us on Facebook. |