16 Birthmother Holiday Survival Tips

Everyone warned you about the holidays.

As a new birthmother, they said, you’re going to have a hard time. Be prepared to feel sad and depressed.

And though you believed them, you had no idea it would be this hard.

While everyone around you is celebrating the best of the season,  you just want to lock yourself in your room and not come out again until all of the tinsel and lights have been put away.

Seeing the faces of happy children makes you think of the one that isn’t with you.

It doesn’t matter how confident you were about your placement or how good your relationship is with your child or his adoptive parents.

This is the time when the pain of separation intensifies and the “would-haves, could-haves and should-haves” take root and make you question your adoption plan, your self-worth and even your sanity. Continue reading

217+ Things to Do While You’re Waiting To Adopt

What a difference a day makes.

The other day one of our waiting parents asked me to upgrade their profile package because they wanted more exposure.

I made the change and sent them a message letting them know the work had been done. When I didn’t hear back from them, I sent them a second email to make sure they got the message.

“We did receive the link,” they wrote earlier this week. “However we will not need to renew.  We were contacted by our agency that a birthmother chose us to be parents and the child was born yesterday and he will go home with us tomorrow.  Thanks for all you’ve done!” Continue reading

12 Things Waiting Parents Want Their Family And Friends To Know About The Holidays

1. This is a difficult time for us.

The holidays are a time to celebrate with family and friends. But while everyone else looks like they’re having a great time, we feel sad and frustrated because we don’t have a child to share them with. Plus, many people don’t understand what we’re going through, which makes it even harder to explain.

2. Getting together can makes us feel awkward.

Maybe it’s because we’re the eldest child and feel that we should have been the first to become a parent. Or maybe it’s because we’re the only child in the family who isn’t a parent. Or maybe it’s because a friend or family member is about to have a second baby while we don’t have any. Or maybe it’s because they never wanted children or weren’t trying to have one and now they’re pregnant. Whatever the reason, we feel like we’re the odd one out and that makes us feel uncomfortable. Continue reading

Open Adoption: What Those In The Know Want You To Know

open-adoptionWhat was your biggest fear about open adoption? What was the spark that initially helped you to create a connection with your child’s birthmother or adoptive parents?

How did you and your child’s birthmother or adoptive parents decide how much openness you wanted to have in your relationship? Do you believe an open adoption match is a stroke of luck, meant to be, or something else entirely?

These are just a few of the questions we asked our Facebook fans as part of our annual “30 Days 30 Questions” series during Adoption Awareness Month in November.

Below you can find a sampling of the dozens of answers we received from all members of the open adoption community.

Which responses speak to you? What do you want to know about open adoption? Tell us in our comments section or on our Facebook page. Continue reading

“Open Adoption Is…” 30 Quotes From Our Facebook Community

“Open adoption is…” what exactly?

Since last month was National Adoption Awareness Month, we wanted to find out.

Just before the month kicked off, we asked our Facebook community to complete the phrase “Open Adoption is…”

We got some great responses, from all members of the adoption triad — adoptive parents, birthmothers and adoptees.

Each day we posted a different one on our Facebook page, where we received even more responses.

Just in case you missed them, here they are — all 30 original quotes in one place. Continue reading