To The People Who Say “I Could Never Give My Kid Up For Adoption”

This guest post is by Ashlee Amraen, a birthmother.

“I could never give my kid up for adoption.”

That’s the response I usually get whenever I tell people about my decision to find adoptive parents for my twins.

But, you see, I didn’t give them up. I placed them.

My adoption story began in May 2011. I was 21 at the time and my life was far from stable. I knew I wasn’t in a position to raise them.

Placing my twins for adoption wasn’t a decision I made lightly. I spent months thinking about it and trying to find the perfect adoptive family for my boys until eventually I found them.

I know that not everyone agrees with adoption or my decision.

I’ve had people tell me what a terrible person I am for placing them with another family. In one instance, I was even handed a bible by someone who didn’t agree with it.

Although I tend to think of myself as being an open book, I still find it hard to explain my decision to people and that it involved not one but two children. Continue reading

As A Waiting Parent I Was Living In The Future. This Is How I Found Beauty In The Present

This guest post is by Sarah Farrar, a hopeful adoptive mother and blogger. 

I confess, as a waiting adoptive parent, I had been living in the future. This is a tale about how I found beauty, and a way to live, in the present.

On the day I realized that 2015 is half over, my heart sunk. I instantly started dreading spending another Christmas holiday season still waiting to adopt.

I turned to my husband, John, and said, “If we haven’t adopted by the holidays, we are spending Christmas at the beach”.

I didn’t allow myself to think of how much can happen in six months. How our last adoption situation began and ended so quickly that it all seems like a blur.

Instead, I went straight to wondering how we can protect ourselves from another painful holiday season. How can we pretend we aren’t hurting, while everyone around us is celebrating and playing Santa Claus?

Earlier this week we hit 21 months “live” with our agency, The Independent Adoption Center. Immediately, my thoughts turned to “only three months before we hit two years”. Continue reading

To The Woman Who Adopted My Baby

This guest post is by Amanda Miah, a birthmother and author.

To The Woman Who Adopted My Baby,

Not every woman is as brave as you. You had the courage to put your trust and hopes in me, when I was just a teenager who you barely knew.

While I carried the baby, you stood close by; a supporting spectator, surely wondering if I’d follow through on our agreement.

You had the courage to put all your cards on the table with no guarantee on my part.

You had the courage to risk having your heart broken. You are brave.

For a brief period you needed me. You needed me to take on a healthy lifestyle, to eat right and get exercise.

You needed me to take extra care, as I was holding precious cargo.

But I wonder if it ever crossed your mind—and you may not have realized this yet—but I needed you too. Continue reading

Why I’m Making A Film About An Adoption That Happened Nearly 100 Years Ago

This guest post is by Jennifer Kachler, a filmmaker.

Since I was a child, I grew up being conscious that my Nana (my Mother’s Mother) was adopted. It was a story she would share with us like the many other stories she would tell us about her childhood.

She was born in 1924 in Maine and adopted when she was 9 months old. She never knew her birth parents or if she had any siblings.

As I got older and understood more about adoption and family ancestry, I questioned her why she never searched for her birth family.

Being the oldest of four daughters, I have a strong bond with my sisters and our friendships with one another are precious.

Knowing that my Nana never had that experience, I wondered what it would be like to live in her shoes during that time in her life when she found out she wasn’t biologically related to her parents.

She always felt that her parents were her parents regardless of their blood relation. Continue reading