I’m Considering Adoption For My Baby. What Do I Need To Know?

This guest post is by Gina Crotts, a birthmother.

I started this blog post with your typical list of “things to know if you are considering adoption for your baby.” When in all reality, that list will not prepare you to place your baby for adoption.

I can give you a rundown of answers that you will find in every other article that you Google, and though these lists are helpful I prefer to stick to what is real and honest.

A transparent list of what you need to know if you are considering adoption for your baby. Continue reading

Placing A Baby For Adoption: My View As The Husband Of A Birthmother

This guest post is by Bob Spears, who is married to a birthmother.

I am married to an amazing woman who placed her baby for adoption several years before we became involved.

I have lived with the trauma now for 20 years and feel I have an observation on her decision to place and that of so many others I have been acquainted with through her.

She feels so strongly about birth mothers that she has spent an amazing amount of time and money to create a support system.

I have been blessed to be on the ride through this adventure and think I see this through pretty open eyes. I wanted to give a few of my thoughts.

My intent is not to hurt others but to compare what I see within our society. Also, for those who want to condemn me for a male view, please take time to visit with anyone who knows me well.

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I Used To Fear My Son Would Hate Me For Placing Him. Open Adoption Changed That.

This guest post is by Makena, a birthmother. 

Happiness: Where does it come from?

Many people say “I will be happy when…” as though the only time you can be happy is when you get something or get to a certain stage in life.

But being happy in the here and now is one of the most important things you can do for yourself.

When I was expecting my birthson, Mason, I remember I would wish for things.

I would think to myself that once my boyfriend talked to me again, I would be happy. But then I realized that wasn’t going to make me happy.

It bothers me when people live their lives in the future because you can’t. You have to live your life in the here and now. Continue reading

Love Is Not Enough: My Adoptive Parenting Story

This guest post is by Adoptive Black Mom, an adoptive mother and blogger.

My daughter Hope and I became a family nearly four years ago. It’s been a great four years, but to be perfectly honest it’s been a difficult four years as well.

It would be easy to assign all of our family’s challenges to all of the issues that brought Hope to a period in her life where she needed a new permanent home, but that wouldn’t be true.

Certainly, those issues shaped our experience, but many of our challenges are routine, post-adoption issues.

In the years since Hope became my daughter, I’ve learned that our experiences aren’t all that unique. Lots of families struggle like us; sadly, but many adoptive struggle in silence.

The public’s desire for happy ending adoption stories is strong. My and Hope’s story is a happy one, but we’ve both learned that in the context of adoption, we’ve had to redefine love and happiness.

In the early days of my adoption journey, I thought I had a good sense of what parenting my daughter would be like. I would parent much like my parents parented me, with a few trauma-friendly adjustments.

I thought I would have this amazing village of family and friends. I had visions of creating this lovely council of men to help provide father figures to my daughter. Continue reading