This guest post is by Pamela, a single adoptive mother.
A member of one of my adoption support groups called me the other day. She is “matched” with an expectant mom who intends to place her baby for adoption with this woman.
In the conversation with me, this woman–I’ll call her Sally–said to me that “the birth mom wants an open adoption including letters and visits.”
Sally went on to tell me that she is agreeing with “her birth mom” even though she and her husband do not want an open adoption.
Sally continued to tell me that she and her husband plan to completely close the adoption once the consents are signed and the revocation period has ended.
Sally said they plan to disconnect the 800 number that the “birth mom” calls them on. They plan to ignore the email account they use. Sally told me she will do anything to “get a baby” and that includes lying to this woman to get what they want.
I was not your “stereotypical” unplanned pregnant mom. I was a career mom in my late thirties, raising three girls on my own, going through the throes of a second failed marriage when we decided to give reconciliation a shot.
It did not stick! I then discovered I was pregnant. I was taking precautions too!
I asked my mom and the father of the baby (soon to be ex-husband) for advice and they both told me I needed to abort.
“I couldn’t bring this child into my situation,“ and “I guess you just want me to hand over my whole paycheck!” were their respective responses. Continue reading →