This guest blog is by Victoria Hickok, an adoptive mother.
After four years of unsuccessful attempts at getting pregnant, my husband and I went through fertility treatments for a year.
But shortly after the anniversary of our first fertility treatment Paul and I put our family plans on hold and decided to focus on buying a house in our small town in Georgia instead.
We figured that, unlike starting a family, finding a house was something we could control.
So we decided to wait until we were settled in our new home and then expand our family through adoption.
A short time later we found a home we liked but we were quickly outbid.
However, we didn’t let that slow us down. We were about to schedule a viewing for another house when a friend in Kansas texted to see if we were still interested in expanding our family.
I answered with an immediate yes and went about my business, not looking at the response until several hours later.
When I did it felt like my heart would explode.
On the screen were two simple sentences that magically changed our lives in amazing ways: “We’re pregnant. Would you be interested in adoption?”
I responded as quickly as I could, scared they’d already found someone else.
I remember calling Paul after I said yes and asking him if he would be alright with that.
He was hesitant but thrilled with the idea of a possible addition to our small family.
We delayed looking into houses, unsure about what this new journey would cost.
Four months later, our family grew with the addition of a baby girl.
The day she was born was a whirlwind. She came two weeks early and breached.
I was on my way home from work when I received the text message that they were on their way to the hospital and would update as soon as they had more information.
I called Paul immediately and around 9 pm that night we got the update that our daughter had been born at 7 pm, local time, and would be waiting on her Mommy and Daddy before anyone but the nurses and doctors cared for her.
It took 16 hours to drive from our small town in Georgia to where this little bundle of joy waited for us in Kansas and it was nearly 11 pm when we finally arrived.
The nurses were excited to see us, squealing and overflowing with joy that “her Mommy and Daddy had finally come.”
They warned us that she was a little spoiled, they hadn’t put her down from the moment she had arrived, and after clearing it with Crystal, our daughter’s birthmother, we were allowed to see her.
I had been worried about bonding and a maternal instinct and everything else they say comes with pregnancy.
My only concern the moment I laid eyes on her was loving her, which was not difficult.
My husband fell in love with her the moment he saw her, and to this day he spends his days finding new ways to ensure she’s spoiled rotten.
Crystal originally didn’t want the adoption to be open. She never wanted children and our daughter was the result of a failed IUD.
Her only concern was that her daughter be happy and loved.
When our daughter was born, she changed her mind about keeping the adoption closed, asking for photographs and updates as our daughter grew.
Today, Clare is almost two and is as beautiful as she is intelligent.
She constantly asks for a baby brother, which is adorable and something that would make my husband the happiest man in the world.
If you’re waiting to adopt, my advice to you is to be patient and pray.
Placing a baby for adoption is a hard decision, and selecting a family for your child is harder still.
Surround yourself with positive people who understand what you’re going through and if they don’t understand it, make sure that they support your decision and the road you’re embarking on.
Adoption isn’t for everyone. There will be people in your life who are confused or just don’t understand how much the decision to adopt changes you and your family.
It’s perfectly okay to break down. There are moments where you’re going to want to cry and scream and that is okay. You’re only human after all.
We will forever feel indebted to the two selfless individuals who chose life for their unborn baby and placed her with our family. There is nothing we can ever do to repay that debt.
Victoria Hickok is an adoptive mother in Georgia.
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