Adoption laws vary by state. But the adoption experience transcends geographic borders. What does adoption mean to you? What was your biggest fear about the process? What was the best or worst part of your journey?
These are universal questions that affect all sorts of people throughout North America and the world, whether they’ve adopted a child, placed a child for adoption or are adopted.
And it’s nowhere more evident than this month on the Facebook page of our sister site, Canada Adopts! As part of an annual feature called “30 Days, 30 Questions” that we run every year to mark Adoption Month, we’ve asked Fans to share their stories about how adoption has touched their life.
As you’ll see, the responses have been insightful, surprising and, in some cases, even funny. Here’s a sampling of some of the ones we’ve received. Feel free to join the discussion any time on the America Adopts! Facebook page or leave your comments in the section below.
What does Adoption Month mean to you?
Nicole Huband: Adoption month is hope to us, who have been through the process for 4 years and still waiting! Maybe this will be OUR month!
Margaret Morton: In my family it means forever for ALL of us. We all will have a heart to return to no matter where we are.
Why did you choose adoption?
Helen Bosch: I’ve always wanted 2 daughters, and I hate that kids age-out of foster care with no support. I want to be that support, a Mom for the rest of their lives.
Anne Potter: I didn’t so much choose adoption, as adoption chose me. After years of trying to have a child of my own and failed pregnancies I have opted to adopt. It now just seems like the perfect fit for us!
What led you to pursue your particular adoption path?
Stacey Hume McKeown: Too many children remain in foster care due to special needs. I chose public adoption of a disabled child because being different or special shouldn’t exclude you from having a forever family.
What was your initial perception of adoption and how has it changed?
Samantha Miller: I also agree that the biological parents should have time to reconsider, but with all the costs an adoptive parent has to absorb and the emotional roller coaster they endure, I do feel there should be some level of accountability for their actions.
Who or what had the biggest impact on your adoption journey?
Margaret Morton: The biggest impact on our adoption journey was doing respite foster care. It opened our eyes and healed our hearts after a loss in the process.
What was your greatest fear about adoption and how did you deal with it?
Chris Guenther Mah: The bonding/attachment process; read books, connected with experienced people, prayed and trusted God and His word
What was the easiest or hardest part of your adoption journey?
Wendy Nicole: The hardest part has always been finding comfort with the loss. People are so judgemental when it comes to birth mothers. We must have done something or just not wanted our babies. It is untrue at best. The easiest part is loving our child. Enough to share, to hope and dream of a future where there is no longer anguish over the nessessary choices that come with the adoption process
Jennifer Carter-Pengelly: The wait! The second time …1 yr and counting . Blah! Compared to babe #1 that was just about 6 weeks wait.
What are some of the things you did or are doing to cope with the wait?
Anne Potter: I made a photo book of my husband and I and our family’s so we have something to show to our child who we are, from birth till now, when he or she is matched with us.
Le N’ Ge: Sometimes I needed to vent! It helps to have people that support you too.
What’s the best and worst thing about adoption?
Stacey Hume McKeown: Best-the end result. Worst-peoples uninformed perceptions of why you’ve made this choice.
Wendy Nicole: As a birth mother I believe the best part of our adoption is having ongoing contact with our child. The worst is and has always been saying goodbye. It hurts sometimes but I would never change the moments we share. I love my son so much.
(Photo credit: Jessica.Tam)