I Want To Find A Family To Adopt My Baby. What Are My Options?

If you’re looking for a family to adopt your baby there are many options to choose from.

Unlike in adoptions in the past, you can have a say in every stage of the process, from finding the family to deciding what kind of relationship you want to have with them in the future.

Probably the first thing you should do is ask yourself these questions:

  • Why do I want to find a family to adopt my baby?
  • What kind of family am I looking for?
  • What kind of relationship do I want to have with them as my child grows up?

The next thing you’ll want to do is start researching your options and decide whether adoption is right for you and if it is, which type you would like to pursue. You have three choices:

Let’s go through them and see how they differ, and what options they offer you in regards to your your relationship with the adoptive parents and your child.

Open Adoption

Most adoptions today are open. They allow you and the adoptive family you choose to exchange identifying information and get a chance to know each other before you place your baby with them.

Open adoption is considered the best option for a child since it allows your baby to grow up knowing he or she was adopted and it eliminates many unanswered questions that a child might have about why he or she was placed for adoption.

And, more importantly for you, it allows you to be a part of your child’s life, which helps with the healing process and allows you to see that he or she is loved and cared for.

Closed Adoption

Unlike open adoption, where you and the hopeful family will know each other, meet and have the option to maintain a relationship as your child grows up, in a closed adoption no identifying information is exchanged between you and the adoptive family.

Many expectant parents initially choose this option when they first consider adoption. But the more they learn about the importance and benefits of openness, the more they tend to move towards that option.

Semi-Open Adoption

Semi-open adoption is a mix of open and closed adoption. You and the adopting parents may exchange identifying information or meet prior to placing your baby for adoption but you may choose to limit your contact afterwards, depending on your needs and wishes.

For instance, you may decide you want to receive updates from the adoptive parents through your adoption specialists for the first five years or that you want to have no contact. As with all of these options, it’s up to you to decide what works best for you.

It’s important to understand the pros and cons of each approach and to become comfortable with your decision before you start looking for adoptive parents.

Finding A Family To Adopt Your Baby

Adoption specialists can walk you through all three of your adoption options. They can explain how each process works, what are your rights and responsibilities, and what to expect as you go through each step of your journey.

If you feel that you’re not ready or unable to parent, finding an adoptive family for your baby can be a wonderful way to give him or her the future and opportunities you may not be able to offer now.

One thing to keep in mind as you go through the process is that adoption involves loss. It’s also permanent. Once you choose adoptive parents to raise your baby and sign the adoption papers, your parental rights will be transferred to them.

You can still play a role in your child’s life, depending on how much involvement you would like to have, but all of the decisions about raising your child would be up to the adoptive parents.

Giving Up A Baby For Adoption

Before you move ahead with your adoption plan, it’s important to speak to an adoption specialist to learn as much as you can about the process. You can find one through many places such as a crisis pregnancy center or an adoption agency or simply by Googling “give up baby for adoption.”

Adoption has come a long way over the years and nowadays it has nothing to do with “giving up a baby.” Once you find adoptive parents and place your baby with them, you’ll have the opportunity to stay in your child’s life and be a part of his or her future.

Many birthparents have loving relationships with their child and their child’s family. This could include anything from exchanging regular updates by phone, text, or video chats to taking part in special milestones in your child’s life such as birthdays, holiday celebrations, even going on vacations together.

How much openness you have with your child and your child’s family depends on your and the adoptive family. That’s something you’ll want to work out early in your relationship. Your counsellor can help you do that and explain the nuts of bolts of what’s called a post-placement contact agreement.

 

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In most states the agreement isn’t legally binding so it’s important that you and the adoptive parents are on the same page in regards to your future contact. That can always change over time, on your end or theirs. Still, it’s important to have a road map that you can build on, given how complicated and emotionally demanding the process can be.

Make sure that you find a reputable licensed adoption counsellor. If, for whatever reason, you don’t like the one you’ve found or feel that they’re holding something back or are not being straight with you or putting undue pressure on you, find another one.

Now is the time to educate yourself on what you can and can’t do after the placement. Although it’s hard to know what the future will holds and what kind of relationship you’ll want to have with your child or the family in the years to come, that is one of the things you’ll need to think about and decide.

There Are Many Places To Find Adoptive Parents For Your Baby

Once you place your baby for adoption, you can’t get your baby back unless you can show proof that your decision was made under duress or that you were coerced. Your adoption specialist can explain all of this to you in more detail when you meet. And all of the counselling is free of charge, whether you go ahead with your plan or not.

If you decide that adoption is right for you, there are many ways to find adoptive parents. You or a family member might know of a family that’s adopting. Or you might want to visit an agency. Or you might want to check out the adopting parents on our website.

All of the hopeful parents on our site have been thoroughly screened by their adoption professionals through a process called a home study and are approved to adopt. They’re also working with adoption professionals who can arrange for you to get your own counselling, legal representation and emotional support.

It’s important that your team of specialists are working independently from the couple and that they provide unbiased advice and support. If you decide that you and the adoptive parents aren’t a good fit, you can break off your relationship with them at any time before the placement and find another couple.

And if you decide that you want to parent, again you can change your mind about your adoption plans at anytime before the placement. Afterwards, depending on when you make your decision, you may be able to change your mind but that’s something you’ll need to discuss with your adoption specialist and will depend on the adoption laws in your state.

Finding a family to adopt your baby can be an overwhelming experience. If you take the time now to research your options and go into the process with your eyes open, there’s a greater chance that the family you do end up choosing will be the right one for you and your baby.