Tag Archives: adoptive parents

Dear Adoptive Parents, Open Up. Signed, Your Daughter’s Birthmother

This guest post is by Lynn, a birthmother.


I am a birthmother to a 12-year-old girl named Janet. I actually named her Sarah but the adoptive parents changed her name. Janet was an unexpected surprise but I loved her from the very beginning. Janet has three other sisters that she has not met.

Choosing to surrender Janet to adoption was the hardest decision I have ever had to make in my entire life. Continue reading

Placing My Baby For Adoption: Why Openness Was The Right Choice For Me

This guest post is by Alli at Neither Rhyme Nor Reason.

It’s been six and a half years since I placed beautiful little Samantha into the arms of her parents. It was a difficult and emotional choice for me.

However, it has not continued to be difficult or emotional. Adoption has become a large part of who I am and to me, it’s a beautiful thing. I believe this is, in large part, because my adoption is open.

Talking to birthmothers who placed before adoptions opened up, I have found that the only thing that they resent about placing is the not knowing. Continue reading

How Not To Begin A “Dear Birthmother” Letter

If you’re trying to build your family through open adoption, chances are you have more than a passing familiarity with what’s known as a “Dear Birthmother” letter.

“Dear Birthmother” letters have been around for as long as open adoption has. Visit any open adoption agency or networking website today and you’ll find scores of them–sometimes dozens, sometimes hundreds–prominently displayed throughout their pages.

First and foremost, a “Dear Birthmother” letter is a a marketing tool–a document written by hopeful adoptive parents like you to expectant parents who are considering adoption for their child.

In anywhere from 500-2000 words, it gives you the chance to paint a portrait of yourself, describing your life, interests, family, home, reasons for adopting and the future you can offer a child. The hope is that upon reading your letter, the expectant parents will connect with you and eventually choose you as parents for their child. Continue reading

8 Reasons To Join An Online Open Adoption Community


The fact that you’re reading this means you know the Internet is a great place to find information and resources about open adoption. In fact, for many prospective adoptive and birth parents, it’s the first place they look when they’re researching or starting the process.

But apart from that, it’s also a great place to become part of a larger community. Before Web 2.0, discussion forums and listservs were the places where hopeful adoptive families and expectant parents hung out or met. Nowadays, Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr, just to name a few, are the places to be. Continue reading

Can We Talk?

OK, hands up: Who thinks open adoption needs reform?

If you raised your hand, you’re not alone. Lots of people who have gone through the process (and even those who haven’t) believe that open adoption is ripe for an overhaul. Here are some of the common complaints: Continue reading