This guest post is by Sarah Farrar, a hopeful adoptive mother and blogger.
Never in my life did I think I would become a blogger, much less keep a blog that people wanted more of on a regular basis.
A blog that would end up being shared all over social media by strangers and adoption sites was beyond what I had ever expected of myself.
It all started in a tiny blank teal book. On a whim, I sat down and wrote to our future baby.
I wrote about how loved our baby already is, even though we have no idea when we will meet him or her.
I described nursery plans, toys, and onesies we had already bought, and how much my heart yearned for this baby’s existence.
I wrote about how much open adoption means to us and made promises to always work hard at keeping the commitment to our adoption plan.
I sat on the bed after finishing what I had to say and I cried.
I cried for the first time since we decided to stop trying to conceive and move on to this new path of adoption.
It was only the next morning, waking up refreshed and light hearted, that I realized that getting all of those thoughts and feelings had worked miracles on my soul.
Cue my adventure into blogland. My first post was written to an unknown audience with no real intention to share.
It was solely written for myself, chasing that feeling of release that I felt after writing for the first time in that book.
I decided I would share it with a few people- mostly family- who all had really amazing reactions to it.
Then I shared on social media, heart pounding, self-doubt spinning through my mind.
Over a year and 62 posts later, it reads like a roller coaster. Literally one post to the next varying in tone and level of optimism.
It is a real honest account of what it is like waiting to adopt- ups, downs, victories, defeats, all sorts of wrongs, but all sorts of rights as well.
Now I know who my audience is, because they let me know.
I write to other waiting families, women considering placing their babies, adoptees, friends, family, and complete strangers.
I write to adoption professionals and to people who know absolutely nothing about open adoption at all.
Most of all I write to myself.
I know someday I will be able to go back and read about our experience and realize how far we had to go to have our family.
The realization that I can inform with my open adoption blog is motivation enough to keep going.
The knowledge that I am creating a chronicle of how our child came to be with us, something I can share with him or her in the future, drives me more than anything.
I admit, I question my writing all of the time. That same old feeling of self-doubt creeps back nearly every time I share a new post.
What if I am coming off too negative? What if I am making too many assumptions about adoption, since we haven’t actually adopted yet? What if, what if, what if…
But isn’t that what it is all about? Honesty?
Putting your story out there for anyone and everyone to learn from? Putting our adoption journey out there for a prospective birth mother to stumble upon?
We can only hope that she appreciates our candor, rather than wondering why we would lay our lives out so publicly.
My blog may not be for everyone, but it sure does help with my personal experience during the wait.
If you are a waiting adoptive parent, a birth parent, or an adoptee, I encourage you to blog about your experiences.
Not only does it help get feelings out that might be a bit clogged up inside, but it also helps people like myself learn about the experiences of all in the adoption triad.
Sarah Farrar lives in Smyrna, GA with her husband John and three cats. They are actively waiting to adopt through the Independent Adoption Center. To find out more about them, visit her blog or their adoption profile.
Are you waiting to adopt?
If you’re looking for ways to increase your visibility and connect with others in the community, including expectant parents considering adoption, share your story with us.
Help us raise awareness about open adoption. Like us on Facebook.