Why I Don’t Celebrate Birthmother’s Day

This guest post is by Katelyn at Letters To You: A Journey Through Adoption.

Mother’s Day, for me, is a chance to celebrate the part of my life that few people know about — a part of me that is not visible to those around me. It’s a chance to sit and reflect on the love a mother truly has for her child.

It is a day that I can look to the mothers in my life and recognize what sacrifices they made. Throughout history, mothers have been blessed to raise children, but the sacrifices necessary to make that happen are astounding.

On Mother’s Day, I look around me and see wonderful women. I see my son’s mother, and the trials she experienced with infertility and adoption to become the mom she now is. I see my son’s grandmothers, and the love they have for this little boy, even though he is not biologically theirs.

I look at my own mom and appreciate the loss she experienced when I placed my son, her grandson, for adoption. And I look at myself, and cherish that I can be counted among the amazing mothers of the world. I can be one of the select women blessed with the opportunity to sacrifice my own wants, wishes, and dreams for the good of my child.

I do not need my own day of celebration, and I choose not to celebrate Birthmother’s Day. I instead count myself among those who are mothers, celebrating on Mother’s Day, who can do and continue to do everything they can for the well-being of their children.

Because that’s what motherhood is all about. It’s not a term bound by genetics, or proximity, or physical appearance. It’s about love. It’s about the joys and the tears, the triumphs and the heartbreaks.

It’s about life, and about laughter. It’s about growth and experience and change. Motherhood is about sacrifice and beauty, and that is what Mother’s Day is a celebration of. It’s a reflection of the good things in life, and I am blessed to experience it.

Katelyn is a birthmother in an open adoption. Learn more about her story at her blog, Letters To You: A Journey Through Adoption. 


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Photo: Serge Melki