- Wishin’ and hopin’ to be more organized
- Wishin’ and hopin’ get to the gym more often
- Wishin’ and hopin’ to spend more time with family and friends
And, of course, wishin’ and hopin’ to adopt a baby and become a parent.
You probably do a lot of wishin’ and hopin’ the rest of the year. But not like now. This is when all of that wishin’ and hopin’ to adopt a baby reaches a fever pitch.
And why not? If you can’t dream big now, when can you?
There’s nothing inherently wrong with wishin’ and hopin’ (and “think’ and prayin’”, as the rest of the song goes). It keeps you stay focused and forward-looking.
And yet, if that’s all you’re doing, you could find yourself wish’ and hopin’ for a very, very long time.
That’s because that while wishful thinking can keep you grounded and thinking about your goals, it will only get you so far. If you want to adopt a baby this year, you’ll going to need to do a lot more than that.
You’re going to have to find a way to translate that hoping and dreaming into action.
A few weeks ago, I put forward 12 actionable adopting tips — one per month — to help you do just that. That’s all they were — tips. Suggestions. Food for thought. You don’t have to do all of them this year. You don’t have to do any of them.
But you do have to do something.
If you don’t, nothing will change. You won’t be any closer to reaching your goal.
I remember when I was on our agency’s waiting list, I used to wake up every morning filled with hope that this would be the day when it would finally happen — when we would get the call that would change our lives and help us become parents.
But unfortunately, open adoption doesn’t work that way. A prospective birthparent match doesn’t just magically fall into your lap. If you want it to happen, you have to make it happen.
And now, while the year is still young and you`re all fired up and the possibilities seem endless, is as good a time as any to do it.
Later, it may not be so easy. Other things will get in the way. You`ll be distracted, busy, tired, worn down. If this is the time of the year when hope reigns supreme, later in the year is when your enthusiasm and optimism will start to fade and the adoption excuses will start piling up.
- I’ve been meaning to update my parent profile but work has been so crazy I just haven’t had the time
- I’ve been planning to get the word out about us on Twitter and Pinterest but I`ve been too busy updating our adoption Facebook page
- I’ve been wanting to call my social worker to find out how often we’ve been shown and what kind of feedback our profile has gotten but I don’t want to bother her
Of course, nobody will know or notice if you don`t work on your profile, if you don`t open a Twitter account or if you don`t bug your adoption worker for an update. (Actually, your adoption worker might, and she probably won`t mind).
But you will.
You’ll know. You’ll notice. And you’ll care.
And chances are, you won’t feel good about it or about yourself.
When we hear about another couples finding a match or adopting, it’s easy to think they had it easier than us or that they just got lucky. And sometimes, it’s true. Sometimes luck does play a role in their success. Sometimes it really is a matter of being at the right place at the right time.
What we don’t hear about is what happened behind the scenes, about the hard work, the heavy lifting, that went into making the match — about
- how they reached out to everyone they knew through word of mouth,
- the endless hours they spent online each and every day networking with other people in the adoption community to spread their message
- how many times they went through their photos (or took new ones) until they came up with just the right one that helped them click with their baby`s birthparents?
These are the kinds of stories that I’ve been regularly sharing on our adoption Facebook page — tales from the trenches from couples on our adoption profile letters page who went on to successfully adopt.
So, as we get deeper into the New Year, by all means keep wishin’ and hopin’. But don’t stop there. No amount of wishin’ and hopin’ — or excuses for that matter — will help you reach your goal and adopt a baby this year.
Instead, go the extra mile and take concrete steps that will get your noticed by expectant parents, whether it be by networking your profile, telling more people, telling different people, or trying new ways of getting the word out about you.
I know, it’s not easy. But nothing as important as building your family ever is. You’ll have good days and bad days. On the good days, take pride in the fact that you’re on the right path, one step closer to parenthood. On the bad days, remind yourself why you’re doing this, how much you want it, and how great you’ll feel when you finally do it.
Because before you know it, spring will be here. Parents will be out strolling with their babies and you`ll want to be out there with them, parentin`and rejoicin`instead of just wishin`and hopin`.
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